Rhett’s Naked Spa Day

There's few things that I enjoy more than just walking around a spa naked You know, there's just something that– It's a men only area

Of course, yeah And I don't go into the co-ed area naked I would get a quick escort out Reprimand And so I just love the feeling of freedom and there's just something about just being just a human with nothing else, except a wedding ring

And you know– It is very healthy I believe, yes And I think it's a healthy exercise and you just feel like you're one with nature, except you're still in a spa at a resort Yeah, you're not out in the woods, but I don't like to have conversations while naked with other naked men That is not my idea of a good time No

And I thought that this was kind of the spa code, you know, when we're naked, let's not talk, maybe I was wrong Well, maybe if you're submerged and there's lots of bubbles, but– No, no, once you're in the hot tub, you can talk, but like you're next to each other at lockers, other than excuse me Yeah You know, or my lockers there, but especially when you're in the sauna Okay

So I love a sauna Love it I love a steam room too I like going in between, but I'm in the sauna just a dry sauna where you can see every, you know, there's no steam obscuring anything in there And so I'm just sitting in there on a towel, of course, but I'm on the towel

I'm not in the towel I'm out in all my glory The register is on full display Okay And a shout out rhettmc on Instagram, I don't post those kinds of pictures, but it's just always a good time to shout out

'Cause it always is 'Cause they're censored on Instagram I couldn't do it I could probably tweet naked pictures, but I'm not that kind of guy This is just for me

So I'm sitting in there on my towel and then a man comes in and sits down He's also naked He doesn't sit right next to me He sits catty corner, you know, 90 degrees Okay

He's like, I could tell that he was about to say something I was like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, "no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no" "How was the massage?" Oh How was the massage? And I'm thinking is this guy like– A manager The CEO of the resort? Is he trying to get my opinion? It's interesting because that's what I wanted to do give my opinion, but not in that sense

And I said it was great Period, Period Yeah Did not ask a question back to him He volleyed to me and I just caught the ball

You know what I'm saying? Did not volley it back Just keep It's like you swallowed it I mean I answered him, and then the questions came "Where you from? "What you doing here?" And I'm like, "Oh, we're having this conversation"

Okay, all right How many bones have you broken? And so– 27,000 It doesn't take a few It takes only a few questions to get to the point where now I've got to talk about what I do for a living And then there's this weird moment in which I'm like, if I say the right combination of answers, then he's gonna just go on the internet and look at what I do, and now he's gonna have this picture of the man that he spoke to naked as this dude that is on the internet

And that just makes me feel weird The comments could be weird So I told him I was a high school principal I'm just kidding Just kidding

I'm just kidding I wish I hadn't done that because I told him what I did You could of had me I would have totally believed you You could have spun that yard at least five minutes

I told him what I did I mentioned the name of the show Dang You exposed yourself emotionally I totally exposed myself in every way I could

I was completely naked He's like, "Well, let me write that down "I'm gonna have to do that later" I learned that he was not just a guest, he was a local He lives there and he has access to this particular spa just being a local

This is where he meets people Yeah Well, this is where he talks to people And a friendly guy, great guy, great conversation other than the fact that we were both naked He's listening right now, Potentially

Shout out to his Instagram, that would be appropriate Yeah, I didn't get that I don't even know his name So then two days later– You didn't ask him, he's asking you all these questions and you didn't ask him anything No, no, I learned what he does for a living

But you don't know his name I can't remember his first name He's from Canada He comes down to this He's in finance

A few days later, you're telling me you ran into– Two days later, I go back, I get a day pass for the spa 'cause I'm like, "Boy, I gotta get back in that sauna" I love it Love the steam room I love the conversation So now I'm sitting out next to the plunge pool in a robe, not naked at this point because it's a little different when you're out there next to the pool

Right, right There is again He comes out to the jacuzzi, gets naked, gets into the jacuzzi He's five feet from me I'm like, "Is he gonna talk to me now?" He's seen me naked

I told him the name of the show He says, "I watched your show" Yeah Ah And was he talking about the sauna? No, he was talking

He was like, "The one with the guy from "The Walking Dead" "with the pudding" Oh yeah He said, "Is that what you do every time?" I was like, "We don't eat pudding every time" He was like, "No, do you have like a guest?" I kind of explained Yeah

But the whole time I'm just thinking, "Did you think of me differently when you watched the show "and you've seen me naked?" That would have been a good question But I didn't ask that Oh, you didn't You felt weird, man See you gotta go full "Borat"

You're saying that I should have just completely exposed myself and not worried Yeah, he was right He doesn't care He was right He doesn't care

This is my problem You are not fully developed in your nakedness I gotta get more naked more often Yeah, you gotta get more naked more often Okay

You got to have your conversational Assignment taken Challenge accepted You gotta do it When I was in a similar situation, I was the first person in the hot tub area, and I just had my robe on

This was before getting a massage in Puerto Vallarta And I got naked I get in the hot tub, turn on the bubbles It's a big one Probably could have held eight to 10 men

I was the only one in it Eight to 10 men And then I'm like, "You know what? "I'm gonna express my dominance over this place" I thought you were gonna say express your anger or something like that I didn't know what was coming

This was before my massage I'm just loosening it up So instead of sitting on the bench seats at the edge, I get in the middle of the rounds hot tub and I just proceed to do stretching and yoga, just there like warrior pose And then guys start coming in And then I'm like– You're stretching

I'm stretching I'm like, "You know what, "I'm gonna be the weird naked guy "standing in the middle of the hot tub stretching" Yeah, that's weird "And no one's gonna join me" And nobody joined me or had a conversation with me

So I recommend that next time That's the way to shut it all down real fast Yeah, next time you're naked and don't want to talk to somebody, just go into the warrior pose Okay Like that

I'll do that To watch more "Ear Biscuits", click on the playlist on the right To watch the previous episode of "Ear Biscuits", click on the playlist to the left And don't forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it's available on all your favorite podcast platforms

Thanks for being your mythical best

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