Our Biggest Regrets

Welcome to "Ear Biscuits" Where, what's the, I don't know what the next word is, just give me that word, just a hint

The podcast Oh the Give me a hint as to what we're doing right now Welcome to "Ear Biscuits," the podcast We're two lifelong friends, talking about life for a long time

I'm Link And I'm Rhett This week, at our round table of slightly brighter dim, maybe even I'd say just– Normal Normal lighting Yeah

We're gonna be talking about your biggest regrets And ours Hashtag no regrets! We're not gonna leave anything on the table Is that, we're gonna leave it all on the table What's the saying? You leave it on the floor

You leave things on the floor, and you put things on the table Leave it on the field Yeah, yeah, if you're playing football, you leave it on the field, if you're playing basketball, you leave it on the floor Poker, leave it on the table Leave it on the table, I don't know

You put it on the table We're gonna flop it out and slam it on the table, and we're gonna leave it there, and we're not gonna regret it today Cause regrets can be a downer, but I don't think it has to be We ask you to tell us what your regrets were, and BriUendo said, what, I mean, is that BriUendo, whatever, "I regret nothing in life, "if I hadn't done the things I did, "I wouldn't be where I am now "No need to regret anything, "just learn from it and move on

" And then Ateriese on Twitter replied and said "I second that statement "I think people spend too much time dwelling in the past "and it wastes so much time in the present "All it does is lead to more regret down the road" Okay, well let's just– I guess you're not gonna listen to this podcast Well, I was just gonna say let's pack it up, let's go do something

We might regret not having a conversation You remember how sometimes we used to just go see a movie? Remember those days? On a workday? Yeah Like, we could do it because we had time, and also you could go to the movie theater Yeah, neither one of those things is available at this point But, so, we should do this podcast

Yeah, I don't wanna regret not doing it But I, listen, I sympathize with this We talked about, I don't know, many different times we've told the story of how, well we did this, and it lead to, you know, make a decision to do something because it'll lead to something else Everything that we've ever really done was never according to the original plan or intention, very little of it Well, I think what BriUendo is saying, or at least the way I interpret, if you're happy with where you are, you wouldn't want, you really can't regret things because if you changed it, it may have a ripple effect that you wouldn't end up being where you are

So you might as well just say a regret is just a learning opportunity So I just think we're just using those terms interchangeably A regret is something that, if presented with the same situation now– You learned a lesson We would, you'd do something differently Yeah

I mean do you have something in mind? No, well, yes So, when I think about, like, professional things, or relational things, I don't entertain the possibility of regrets in those areas, I've made a lot of mistakes in both areas, but because I'm happy where I'm at professionally, and I'm happy where I'm at relationally I wouldn't want it to be any different Just like what you were just saying So I tend to think, when I think about regrets, I they're very personal, they're just things that are just like, it's just you bro, it was up to you, and you didn't do it, but it wouldn't have affected anything else I know that's not how time works, I've seen back to the future, all three parts

And, did you hear there's a fourth part coming out? No, there's not Ha! You're getting it confused with "Bill and Ted" So I think my, the thing that comes to mind for me is my health Oh are you gonna get in, I thought you were just gonna tease it Oh

Go for it, talk about your health I mean you gonna talk about your back again, every time we turn around you're talking about your back I'm not gonna talk about it much Is there something in your mouth? Yeah What's your problem? I think I got something out of my mustache and then it went in my mouth

Why you getting it out? I'll tease what mine is And then I think I just swallowed it It happens a lot when you've got facial hair like this I regret the review that I wrote on Airbnb for the place that I stayed on my vacation that I talked about last episode I wrote the review yesterday

How much time do you have to write a review after the thing? It's, I don't, they kept prompting me, you need to do this, you need to do this And I was like, okay I'll do it So I just did it And then when I got home last night I was thinking, man I gotta think about my regret, and then I couldn't come up with anything at all, no regret came to my mind It was just like I've lived a whole life, it's like why isn't anything coming to me, I guess that's a good sign, but then all of the sudden, a few minutes later, I realized that I was actively regretting the review that I wrote

Well I'm looking forward to hearing it My wife just wrote the review for our Airbnb Do you regret not writing it yourself? No So what's your health? Just, it took me until in my late 30s before I actually began to do the things for my back that help it, right? Yeah Cause, you know, I hurt my back on vacation, I'm 98% now, and it's been just a week since I hurt it, right? You know, you remember all those times where I would hurt my back, and I would be out for like the whole summer

Yeah, I had to pull so much extra weight Yeah, we would have meetings and I would be on my back So if I had of done that when– I do my best work horizontal In my 20s, who knows what would be the case And also, therapy

But here's the thing, I wasn't ready for therapy I wasn't ready for therapy until I was ready So I guess I don't have any regrets I wish I had dealt with some of the things that I'm dealing with, but– This is still kind of nebulous for you But I don't see how I would have gotten to it

You know what I'm saying? I wasn't ready to get to those things I, more regret started flooding in for me I think I am the type of guy who's like, I mean, the one that came to my mind that I've already shared on "Ear Biscuits," is when I decided to respond to the texts to the friend who we fell out of touch with each other Yeah, you should regret that And then I, like, wrote this long text back, and you know, I read it, and then I've already talked about that one

That was definitely a regret If I had to do that again, I wouldn't have written that text, I would have written something differently We've already been through that Right, but I feel like I need a 15 second summary, which was that guy was reaching out to you just to say, hey, haven't seen you in a while, and you responded with I don't wanna be friends I don't have room for you in my life

Right, you shut down the potential friendship I wish I did, but I don't And then, the update there, he was like, I mean there was some back and forth, and I gave the whole thing in an "Ear Biscuit," right, so I just can't go through all of it again You can find it amongst the forums But I don't think I gave the update, Christy and I were out on a date, and then Christy went to the bathroom, and she comes back to the table, and she says guess who's over at the bar, and it was him, he was at the bar with a friend, turns out he has another friend

Good He wasn't just hanging everything on me, or at least he certainly got the message to get another one He got that friend after you sent him that text And I'm like crap, what do I do, Christy? And she's like well just go over and talk to him, you know, that was in the past, and I went over and I was like– And don't say anything about the text Right, Link? You don't wanna rehash it

Hopefully she did not tell you that, or you didn't I can't remember exactly– Because you're the guy that will send the text, but you're also the guy that will talk about the text the next time you see them I regret it so much I wish I wouldn't have sent that I don't think I said any of that to him I have a hard time remembering, because very quickly he graciously changed the subject and was just having a normal conversation, introducing me to his friend, and it was over, but I still regret it

I mean, I had, okay I'll share the Airbnb because I was like, man, I wish I wouldn't have sent that The place was, in the title it was called, it had the word luxury Uh oh, okay, that's promising something I was looking for a place near the beach There's not, you can't find a whole lot of them, especially with the time frame that I was looking, and it was so– Yeah, close to departure

It was close to the time of departure So I found this place I mean, everything was great about it, you know, I talked about it last week, but in their description it was like, luxury, beach, you know, walk to the beach, that was like the title And, so my review was, we really enjoyed the place, it was really well appointed, it was really well decorated But

I'm paraphrasing I love the open floor plan Sure, talk about the open floor plan We really enjoyed it because it allowed our family to enjoy being together, eating, and playing games, and there wasn't, I liked the fact that there wasn't a television in the main room because it made it where screens weren't a constant fight, but that there was another TV room that we could enjoy And the kids particularly enjoyed the keyboard

I'm like leaving, I don't know why, I just started leaving all these things in To be this detailed? Because I would have liked to know this information Oh, the TVs in a different room, but there's also a keyboard in there And the open floor plan– You mean you can control the TV with a keyboard? Like one of those keyboard remotes? No, it was just a keyboard Oh, like a piano? Like a piano

Okay They enjoyed the piano I think you should go back and edit the review Oh gosh And in parenthesis put, I'm talking about a piano

Cause I thought, like, when you said TV and then the keyboard I think I said something like, my musically minded kids particularly enjoyed the keyboard I was saying things like this You're one of those guys, man? Well, I was just thinking everything that I wish I would've known that when I read all the reviews, they were, they were, "Oh I'll come back, it's a great place "The backyard is amazing

"The pictures don't do it justice" That's the kinds of things people were saying Yeah Luxury And I said, new paragraph, so that was the first paragraph

Oh this is multi paragraphs Second paragraph was about that backyard, cause that's where all my high expectations were And I said, the backyard was, I said something like it was a haven of relaxation, I said something like that I said, and it was beautiful, however– It was not luxury There was a second property in the back corner of the lot

And there was dude in the window like looking at you like this the whole time So you don't, you didn't have a sense of– Privacy Complete privacy Yeah You couldn't, and this is me writing, you couldn't see, the entrance to that house on the lot was not visible to us, and you couldn't see in the windows, and vice versa

Well, then what's the problem? It's a wall? You think Superman's on the other side of it I don't understand There were windows, and they open up So you could, I could see like a ceiling fan turning, and I could tell that there was people, and I was like, that probably explains why they place such an emphasis on quiet hours in the outside beginning at eight o'clock I think that's a case in many Airbnbs at the beach because we had people on both sides in the same way

Yeah, I had people on both sides, they had neighbors Like four feet away But listen, there was a fence, and so there was a sense of this is my space, and I'm going out here to enjoy this lush, luxury, of these trees, it was beautiful Your wife put it on Instagram, I saw it She put it on Instagram, yeah

And there's like an outdoor seating area She seemed happy She's like, taking a nap out there But I just felt, no one had mentioned in any of the reviews that there was another property on the lot And the guy in the window

You couldn't see the front door, but you could see the windows, you couldn't see anyone through the windows, and they couldn't see you, but I knew there were people in there, and it just, you don't have a sense of complete privacy And that's all I said Do you know why no one else mentioned this? And then I went to my third paragraph, and I said some things about I guess you're not gonna answer I'm coming back to it

I said, the walk to the beach was a little farther than I anticipated, and you had to cross a railroad track Okay, well, let me, cause, let me just guess, because when I see walk to the beach, or short walk to the beach Yeah, I don't think you have to cross a railroad track Well railroad track doesn't impact the timing unless there's a train, right? Yeah And then at that point, all bets are off

Especially if it's– I never saw a train A freight train, and not a passenger train, cause those are extra long Sometimes so long you're like when did trains get so long I never saw a train, I didn't write about that Okay, so railroad track, not a problem, it's just a feature that you can walk across

For me it's about the timing Anything longer than 10 minutes is not a short walk to the beach I feel like five minutes is like, five minutes is like you're almost on the beach I think it said like, 12 minute walk to the beach Oh, it gave you the minutes? Did you time it? No

You're complaining about it, it gave you the time I never walked it, it was too far And I just, I didn't meet my expectations Hold on, you can't say– But I said, but I did drive You can't say the walk is farther than I expected when you told me it was 12 minutes is what I should expect

If they put the time in there, you can't be mad about that If they said short walk to the beach and then it was 12 minutes, I'm like buddy, that's over the 10 minute threshold They said, just like 12 minute walk to the beach That's not luxury It was longer than 12 minutes is really what I'm getting at

And I put you gotta cross a train track, some people may care about that I doubt it And so I think I'm being really helpful, and I'm typing away, I'm typing away And I'm like– There's a train track, there's a boy in the window who stares at you when you're in the hammock in the back I mean, there was a trampoline way back there, and it was much closer to this property, and if you wanted to look at my kid in a trampoline, you could peer out of the– Well that goes both ways, if you jump high enough you can look into their windows

It does go both ways, and I don't like that You can get up and see below the ceiling fan, and see the family at the top of every jump So, everything that I didn't read in any of the reviews I put in my review And then I said– You see that as your role I, by the way, I'm not one of those people that leave reviews anywhere

That's why this is so entertaining to me But I feel like, so I'm not good at it, apparently I did it all wrong, but I was detailed, and I wrote it for the me that was coming next and I didn't wanna have any regrets Ironically, thinking about it later, even though I closed the review with would love to stay here again That's one of those reviews where was this review helpful, everyone's like no It's like, cause I'm so confused, he's complaining about everything, but he wants to stay there again, I don't know how to take this

Well, so then, I regret, I started thinking about the owners of the house, and how they probably set up that other property back there in order to, they had to make extra money, or maybe it was them living in that other house, while we lived in their house, and they're just trying to make ends meet, and COVID, and nobody's coming through the beach, and I started to feel really guilty and regret leaving this– You should, yeah Anal, and detailed review of this place, and I think maybe I decimated their business model Now everyone's gonna see, well there's another property in the backyard, I'm not gonna stay here It doesn't have a sense of complete privacy Don't give yourself that much credit

How many other reviews were there on this property? 44 Oh, no, you made no impact I went and looked at my review, cause I just wanted to read the review to you They haven't posted it yet It's not on there

So now I feel even worse No, no, here's the deal Cause Jessie, literally, right before we started recording this podcast, because I asked her, posted the review for our Airbnb Yes You know what I'm saying

I just took something out, I don't know what it was That's a place where you just have air and breakfast And she said, it's not posted yet So I think there is some sort of like– I think they have to review me too Yeah

But I don't think they can see my review I can't see their review, and they can't see my review until they're both reviewed Yeah, blindness, mutual blindness But then I told Christy, she was like no, this is, I mean it might have been a little too detailed, but I think if people are interested in it, they'll be interested in it, if not, they'll think that you're a crazy person When they see three or four paragraphs they'll stop reading

I love that When I'm renting a place for like a week, and I'm taking my family, I wanna know there's a railroad track I wanna know– Do you know how many reviews there were on the house that we rented? I don't, no Why would I even guess, does it matter? One One? There was one review

Now, I told Jessie, I was like– That's risky I was like, I don't feel good about, it was a five star review, and it was one of these places that they've just started renting it Written by the cousin of the owner And I'm like, never should do this, you should never stay at a place, you should never be the guinea pig But again, it was late notice, we kind of planned this vacation, where we were gonna go

I was like, okay, let's just bite the bullet and do it And then we had a number of things that we were, I told you last week The hot tub I was upset about the hot tub I didn't tell you about the mice

I don't wanna hear about the mice Yeah, they were very– It was crawling around? No, they were the most luxurious mice you could imagine Were they crawling on you when you were sleeping? No Were they on dishes that you were going to use? They were only seen one time, and it was by Lock's friend who's living with us Again, the one that– Chore boy

Yeah, he spots everything for us He's also the mouse spotter He saw the mouse, and we saw the poop, and Jessie was kind of freaked out about that They brought somebody over to, like, set traps It's like, okay, whatever

The bed was too soft and hurt my back, but I felt bad, like, you can't complain about that, cause like, you can't be like the bed's too soft, people will be like what's wrong with you man? A lot of times you'll see the bed's too hard I thought about saying the bed was too hard But I didn't So I was like you can't say the bed is too soft I chose my battles

That's my issue, I got a bad back I'm not gonna be that unreasonable Oh you got a bad back? Let's talk about that some more But you know what else? I think the reason that your critique of the lack of privacy is the part that you should regret, is because– It was on the property We had the same thing, and there was a guy there

And it was, I knew it was the same house because it was on the same, like you go in the backyard, and then there's a house that faces the other way, and it's the garage, which we couldn't get into But they had designed it in a way where there were no windows facing into the yard Like it was a completely blank wall, as if they thought, oh, there's gonna be other people back here, we want to have a sense of privacy in the backyard But the guy did come out a few times and like walk down to the trash can And I just made eye contact with him, I didn't even, I didn't even nod

That's the beauty of, I prefer the Airbnbs when you never see the person who you're renting from They just give you the code to the door, and you know, you communicate with them over text But I'm saying, that's a lot to ask Yeah, it is And that's why I regret it

It's a lot to ask I mean, you gotta pay big money if you want that kind of privacy at the California, Southern California beaches Yeah, and I bet you that's what they were saying It's like gah, this guy, I hate this guy Right

They hate you, they definitely hate you But I'm going back So I kind of regret that, I don't know Oh, and when Jessie wrote the review You think I should regret it? That seems to be your stance

No, I don't I mean, I think you, if anything you should regret the time that you took I think the information will be helpful to somebody Oh it flowed like water It didn't take long at all

I asked Jessie what she said about it, and she was like, I just said it was a really nice house, with a couple of issues, or something like that But like Well if you don't say the issues Well she won't, I mean, she's not really responding to my text right now, she must be busy So I don't know if she regrets it or not

We're gonna get into your regrets, and maybe that will give us more ideas about some of our regrets that we've had But first, we're gonna tell you a couple of things We always tell you about Mythicalcom, and you should go there and get cool Mythical merch Yeah, you've heard that before

But here's the new thing that we're gonna tell you, and that is you're watching this, and if you're hearing this you are watching it, cause we only do this part for those of you who watch on YouTube Might you consider subscribing to this "Ear Biscuits" channel? You made it this far, subscribe to the channel, click the bell Yeah, subscribe and click the bell It helps us out You know, there's a whole different experience here that you get to see

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You can only see that Those colors Or can you, can you hear colors? That sounds like a GMM episode Yeah, we'll do that So, subscribe to this channel, please

Right now, as you're, you can do it as you're listening Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the cool part Oh, thank you, you just did Oh wow thank you We felt that, oo when you click that bell I feel it

Oo! Click that bell again No, don't click it again cause you'll, just click it once Click it an odd number of times Odd number of times, yeah Mythical

com, rep your boys Regret I'll just, I'll float a question out there that we don't have to answer, we can just kind of percolate on it It is better to regret something you did or something you didn't do? Let's filter that through these That's– I guess it depends on what it is that it was that was to be done

I'm quoting the philosopher Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who was quoting lyrics from the band The Butthole Surfers in a song called, "Deep Kick," where, you shouldn't let Flea sing I will say that Well, I have an answer, but I'll save it Okay This one, this regret– I don't think there's a correct answer, by the way

Is from Jany Hi Jany Jany_c23 on Twitter "My parents have been saving a rum bottle "since their wedding day to open on their 25th anniversary" Okay, 25th anniversary

"One night, me and my ex were at my house, alone, "and we drank almost the entire bottle" On purpose? "I had no idea it was from their wedding" Okay "I've never owned up to it" Oh they don't know

So, which part does she regret? The drinking of it, or the not owning up to it? Cause if she didn't know, she said I had no idea it was from their wedding, it's just later she's like, you know, somebody drank our 25 anniversary rum, Jany, can you believe that? Or is it possible that rum evaporates when you get closer, like after 20 years? No, it doesn't evaporate in one night Well, I think the answer to that question is simple You can regret something that you did not know was wrong at the time, for sure But you can't, you can feel, well, you can feel bad about it, but you can't blame yourself if you didn't know Yeah, I mean, if the liquor cabinet was free reign, and it was just that particular bottle choice, and you had no way of knowing

This is your parents fault Should've had a label This is your parents fault If this bottle of rum– Feeling bad, but You shouldn't regret it

I understand your decision, unless there's something you're not telling us If you've got something that is special to you, in any household, drink, food, like something that like, I am going to be mad if someone else consumes this, and there is not a preexisting agreement, like, everything on this shelf is mine Cause there are a lot of houses where roommates share fridges, and they do the shelf system So if there's not a predetermined system of claiming what's what, if it's not labeled, you cannot get mad about it And you don't, my 10 year olds figured this out

There's Post It notes everywhere, you know, there's a Post It note on the mirror of his bathroom that says, "Don't use my towel, use your towel" And it's a note to Lincoln cause they share a bathroom, and he gets mad cause Lincoln uses his– Lando says that to Lincoln? Yeah, apparently Lincoln uses the nearest hand towel, which is Lando's, not the one that's on the other side that should be his Uses the hand towel for what? His hands Hold on, they have separate hand towels? Yeah That's a Neal household

There's two sinks Hold on It's the double sink It's one thing to share, to not share a body towel, yeah don't go there Hand towel

Lando made a Post It note, "Don't use my hand towel, use yours" What's he worried about on Lincoln's hands? It's just damp It's like you get up and you want a nice, fresh He wants a dry towel You don't want it to be damp with somebody else's dampness

I think the thing you should regret, Jany, is not owning up to it I mean, it was an honest mistake There was no label That's what's eating away at you, just the tension that it's gonna be brought up, and you're gonna be found out You're making yourself much guiltier than you should be

And you know what? I relate, I relate Well, here's the best thing to do right now, Jany, cause I agree that you need to own up to this The simplest way to do that is just to send your parents this podcast episode And there's, you know– They're gonna have to listen for quite a while If you're a tech savvy person, you can do that thing where you link directly to the time code, whatever, and just send it to them

And hey, thank you for joining us Janet's parents We're sorry about what your daughter did But I will say, you know what? It's not her fault, it's your fault, she shoulda told you, but she's telling you now While you're at it, subscribe to this podcast Yeah, click the bell

And label your stuff, I mean, if it's that important to you And, it's also the reason why Jany and her ex are broken up now because they've just been so eaten up over this And also That they couldn't even stay together And also, drinking just a straight bottle of rum, as you know, you've got experience with that, that leads nowhere good

Yeah, especially if a bathtub is involved If you're not a pirate, if you're not a pirate currently on duty, do not drink straight rum, and nothing else What if it's labeled? If you're a pirate and it's labeled "This is for our 25th wedding anniversary argh!" You should take it, because that's the spirit of pirates That's how you stay true to pirate, yeah Let's hear another regret

This is uplifting This is from Sam_P_23 Another 23 23 is our number today Hmm

"Getting a tattoo of Wreck It Ralph "riding a wrecking ball with Miley's "'I came in like a wrecking ball' under it "It was funny at first, now I'm stuck with it for life, "hahaha" Yeah, and I mean, we agree, it was funny at first Yeah, I think it's still funny Even at this point in our conversation, it's kind of wearing off

I mean, in the time it takes to do that tattoo, I mean, it's not really that funny anymore But– Wait, I wonder where it is It depends on two things: where it is, and how many other tattoos you have, right? But, I would say, regardless of the situation, even if it's your only tattoo and it's on your forehead, I mean let's just say it's the worst possible combination of those two things I think this is, let's see, came in like a wrecking ball I think this one should be right below the waistband

Right, right It's all about the way that you, just think about it, if you saw somebody with that tattoo, and, the thing is you wouldn't ask them anything about it, you would just make assumptions about them But if you got into a conversation with them, then it would be a really funny conversation starter What would that be? Hey, I like your tattoo Well, tell me about your tattoos

Well, it would probably say, I like your tattoo, hahaha He's like, yeah I thought it was funny at the time, Wreck It Ralph, wrecking ball, you know, it was a cultural moment Okay That's what you can't do Sam_P_23 Don't wallow in your regret

Don't converse about your regret If anyone's gonna talk about the tattoo, just own it Act like you don't regret it Cause it doesn't, you have it, it makes you, correct me if I'm wrong, I think it makes you, it makes it worse when you're like, you apologize for it I just think of like, yeah, I mean even, it is what it is, you know, is better than something, than a, "Yeah, I just–" Own it, yeah, own the mistake

No, don't own the mistake Own that you have it, and don't pull somebody else, don't make it a downer Like we've made this podcast about talking about regret Don't do that with people you talk to Don't engage in regret just in casual conversation, cause it's a downer

We're professionals, we know how to keep it up But what if it's somebody that you're trying to impress, or you think there might be a future friendship or relationship with them If it's the first date it can be like, yeah, I'm looking for something to go over this, and I think it might be your face I meant get a new tattoo, I wasn't talking about the below the waistband again Oh, right, cause you were gesturing to your shoulder as you did it

And that is one strategy What I was gonna say was, I just think simply saying, you know what, I thought it was funny at the time You see somebody make eye contact with it, I thought it was funny at the time You know what, still pretty funny Well if you're gonna do that, tattoo that underneath it

Okay, that's a good update I thought this was funny at the time I thought this was funny in 1998, or whatever it was And this was actually not that long ago if it was wrecking ball, that's a few years, I don't know I've lost track of time

What about, we had a friend, who, you know, there are the kids in high school that started getting tattoos their senior year when they turned 18, right? Mhm There's, especially back in 1996 when we were moving into our senior year of high school, there were the kids that turned 18 and got tattoos, and it was like, oh, really, I'm sure that's a lot more common than it is now, and also there's a lot of kids who were younger than that who go in with their parents permission and get tattoos You talking about Pearl Jam tattoo, or are you talking about Tasmanian devil tattoo? I'm talking about Tasmanian, I'm thinking about both, but I wanted to talk about Tasmanian devil Because we had a friend who came– Yeah To school one day, and he had gotten a full color, like it looked like I had just tuned into a cartoon, you know what I'm saying? It was just, it was a freeze frame from a Warner Brothers, is that what the Tasmanian Devil's from? I don't know

It was the Tasmanian Devil ripping out of his delt, and coming to say hello And, but in a spin, he was coming out, he had broken through in the Tasmanian Devil spin The tornado Yeah And even at that age, at that time we felt bad for him

Not a good look It's tough It's tough– No way he's still got that It's tough to react to a tattoo No way he's still got that tattoo

I bet he does Do you think he's got it covered up with other things? Yeah, yeah, I bet he's got other things Because the one you're thinking about right now, Pearl Jam, the Pearl Jam tattoo was covered up by college Yep, that's true But literally, like, two years later the Pearl Jam tattoo was completely covered over

And that wasn't even that bad of a tattoo No it wasn't And now I think it's come back You know, it's like, if you had it that long, now's a good time to have a Pearl Jam tattoo Can you get one layer of a cover up tattoo removed to reveal a previous tattoo? Like an archeological tattoo removal? It's just like, do you want the tattoo that you used to regret? Can Dr

Tat Off do that? Uh uh, no I don't, I mean, I don't know how poison ivy works, apparently, according to everybody It's very clear that you don't But I do know how tat offs work What about this? Mythical_alenna, "Eating a soggy burrito

"I tried to heat it up in a pan, but it stuck, "so I scraped it off, and ate it wet "Ate a wet, cold burrito, that was also hot in some spots" Oh "It had avocado and shrimp in it too" Whew! "I vomit just thinking about it

" That's very specific That's a very specific regret Yeah, that's the, that is a specific one I've never tried to heat up a burrito like that Whenever I have the second half of a burrito, I just eat it cold

Do you do this with other foods, or just burritos? Most– What about pizza? Cold Fried chicken, cold Well, yeah, but both of those things that you mentioned, fried pizza? Fried chicken and pizza kind of have their own character cold, but a burrito? Yeah Doesn't have character cold Like a Chipotle burrito, they're so huge, I'll cut them in half, and then I'll, like, I'll unwrap the foil, and I'll just eat the second half

It's difficult to heat up, I will give you that much It's not that good One of the things that I regret I don't know why this pops into my head, but it's a bit sad, but bear with me Remember when we went on that off-roading trip with the group of people that we didn't know? And the one guy was the leader, the organizer of the trip, and it's like a four day trip in Death Valley, it was the first time we went

He was the leader, and then he, this tragic thing happened to him when, like, his child passed away Right His young child And he lived a long ways a way, he like lived in Northern California Yeah

But our friend Nick knew him better because, like, he had connected with him, met him, and that's how we got, that's how he got invited to the trip, and then we got invited, we got to know him So, Nick knew him better But, I had an opportunity to go with Nick up to the, like, the funeral service, and I just, for some reason, I really regret not going Like, I just feel like, I feel like it was one of those things where it's like that was the right thing to do, and yeah, I had my rationale, I was like, we would have had to, it was so far that we'd have to stay overnight, or like, it was a long freaking drive to get to where this thing was, and then it's like, I, you know, I only knew him at this one trip, you know, we're not actually friends It was very easy to say, well, it's not my place to go there, but then it kinds of eats away at me, even now, that like, I didn't go, cause I felt like, you know, when somebody goes through something that horrible, it's just like, wow, people I didn't expect came out of the woodwork just to show up, and I know it was along drive

I think it would've meant a lot to him that somebody who barely knew him took the time to go up there And I think Nick went anyway So many I think too highly of myself But it's weird that I fixate on that, right? Yeah, cause listen, I'm not, first of all, I think in some circumstances you kind of got, you gotta let yourself off the hook Listen, because in my mind the moment that I begin thinking about all the things that I could do, all the choices that I could make that would be selfless or whatever, I'm gonna have all kinds of regrets, right? In that particular situation, obviously I felt horrible about what was going on, but we literally, like, Nick had been on multiple trips with him, and like talked to him on the phone

Yeah Was a friend, like Yeah They were friends We went on a trip that had four or five cars in a caravan, and like, there was a couple of times where we had a conversation while we're sitting around a fire

He would probably have a hard time remembering our names It would've, in my mind it would've been a little bit strange Okay For you to go That's my take on it

So I definitely don't think you should feel bad about it Yeah, I guess I just feel so bad for him I completely get that Yeah, so that I would, it's like well, that's why it stays in my brain is cause it was such a tragic thing that like, I didn't, you know, I actually didn't do anything It moved me, but it didn't actually move me transportationally

I get it I think that's why it stuck in my brain And I'm sure some people would interpret what I'm saying as cold hearted, but I'm saying that I think, and it's not, like I have every, I have sympathy Yeah sure For the guy, but, I don't know, I feel like there's lots of situations, cause when you think about it, you know

Well, here's another one– Well think about this, I mean, Jessie and I talk about this, you know, we try to be pretty charitable, right? There's plenty of things that we can give to, and we try to be strategic, and sort of effective in the things that we give to But then we also do things like spend money on making our yard nice, right? And there's a, and I'm less, like if I were to, like, present it to Jessie, and I were to say, you know what, we could make the pool nicer, or we could take all that money and we could give it to somebody who needs it, right? Mhm And it's just like, okay, from a strict moral standpoint, should you give away all your money, and everything, and do nothing for yourself until you have done all those things for other people? It's like, I get into a place where I'm like, I mean, I'm sure there's somebody who's gonna live their life like that, but I'm like, okay, I don't wanna be irresponsible, and I wanna be generous, but I also wanna spend some money on something that I feel like me and my family are gonna enjoy But I can't sit around and think, like, oh, you know what, if you hadn't of gotten that, if you hadn't of installed this thing at your house that you wanted, and put these speakers up in your backyard, you could have given speakers to somebody else Yeah

I just don't think that's a, I just don't it's a healthy way to live because you can always find something that you can make yourself feel obligated to do Cause it also, in another sense it also makes you, it centers you Yeah In the conversation Like, oh, well if I had of done this, it would've solved the problem, or it would have meant that much to this guy if I had of done that

Yeah There is an element of it that gets into centering yourself I think in that it's like, I met the guy once, I don't know him, I'm not really his friend, it's like, and I think when Nick asked me to go, you had something planned specific, but I didn't have anything specifically planned, and so Nick asked, "Do you wanna go with me?" So he didn't have to drive all that way by himself, and I think that's how he put it to me And then it was, I don't know, something may have come up I regret not, you know, we had the friend who just had the birthday, and I was like, and I don't know

I regret this This is a regret I regret– A shared regret, everybody I regret this So

And he listens to this podcast, so Well, don't listen to this part, Harm, don't wanna spoil this, it's gonna be awkward A lot of people are doing this type of thing I think this is a, well he was turning 40 Mhm

And I think it is like a, it's more of a middle aged thing I don't think when people turn 20 or 25 this happens, but maybe it does in certain circles But this is definitely not an out of the blue request from his wife, hey this is a secret, can you write a note for, he's turning 40, for his birthday And mail it And mail it

To this address He's gonna really appreciate that I mean we had another, the way that it first started happening was YouTubers would like, contact us, like YouTube friends, or their partner or something would say I'm, we did it for Phillip DeFranco a long, long time ago, back when we were in Lillington "Hey I'm surprising Phil for his birthday, "can you do a little video snippet and send it to me "and I'm going to create this montage" It's the private version of that

Well, and then there was another, this is actually, this request has come in three different times in the past three months Now, the first one that came in was also was a YouTube friend, and it was their partner saying, "Hey, I'm doing this thing to celebrate his birthday," but they sent us a link that you could just go to a website and hit record, and you were recording a message to them Or send a voice, like record a voice memo with your phone and email it to me And I did that And you know what I did? Right when I got the email, I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna do it right now, cause if I say I'm gonna do it later I'm never gonna get back to it because there's never a time, you know what I wanna do, I wanna drop everything I'm doing, and I wanna sit down and record a voice memo six times because I'm not happy with the first five, talking about how, you know, trying to make somebody feel good on their birthday

It's just, it's not the first thing you ever want to do, but I just went ahead and did it But then I got a second request from somebody that is, we worked with at one point Yes And I actually thought about doing that one I thought about doing that one

But there was a slight extra piece of it, it was more like send your video to this email address, or something, and I was like, uh, I'm not gonna do this, and it's not somebody that we're in regular contact with at this point Even though I saw them at a restaurant right before COVID Okay, well you should have done it then, cause you had more recent contact He was very nice to me Yeah

And I was very happy to see him I almost did that one I don't regret that one I don't regret it, but when the third one came in I really regret this one

This is one of our really good friends, who on a regular basis we're in contact with, and it was his wife who was organizing this, but it came through one of our other mutual friends, and when it came in, there was, like, a deadline, it was, you know, not that this is an excuse, but the deadline was like, it was like, we need this in a week And I remember thinking, when it came in, I was like this is gonna be tough for me to do But I'm gonna do it And when I say tough, I mean like I gotta write a letter, I gotta mail it, I mean, just the other day, or like last month– I didn't even remember that it had to be mailed I needed to mail something to our, like, our business people, I needed to mail something to them

I had to mail it too, yeah And– Come to find out I mailed it a month before you did cause you apparently don't remember how to mail No, I haven't mailed anything in so long, I was like, do we have envelopes? And then I was like, do we have stamps? And Jessie's just like me, she was like I don't know, like we don't mail things Yeah, I had to walk into the post office and do all of that It took me a month to mail a letter, that was like an important thing

The bottom line is– I knew this was gonna be trouble, but I was like, I'm gonna do this because this guy means a lot to me, and I wanna communicate that Well he means a lot to me too Yeah, I'm sure you had every intention to do it as well But then I completely forgot about it Like, it was like I had a moment, and I didn't write it down, cause I'm not good at that, I did write it down, and then a week passes, and then the next week passes, and then you say to me, "Hey did you, "did you write that letter to our friend?" And I was like, oh crap, I didn't

And it's already, it's a week late And then I felt really bad And then we got on the phone with him, and he was like, he was talking, I was like how was your birthday? Cause we had talked about how his birthday was coming up, but I didn't, course I didn't talk to him about the letter thing And he talked about his birthday, he was like man, it was a good day It was, uh

He got a bunch of letters He talked about all the stuff that happened, and then he talked about the letters he got, and I just kind of like, I nodded by head, I was like he doesn't know that I was prompted to write a letter, you know? I'm more of a recent reconnect He knows now He knows now, shoot Yeah, we shouldn't have said anything about it

And then I was like, you know what what I'm gonna do? I said to myself, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm not gonna talk about it When he was telling me I got these letters, like my wife got all these people to write these letters, and it was really cool, and I was nodding my head, and I was thinking in that moment, I was like dammit I really wanted to express that he does, his friendship means a lot to me, and then I thought, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna write a letter anyway, and I'm gonna send it to him And you still haven't done that No

Hold on, but let me just say When he turns 80 I'll do it I thought that, only in multiples of 40 I thought that what you were about to say, cause again, this would be a very Link thing to do, the moment that he is on the video chat, and I think I was either not present for the video chat You weren't present

The moment he starts talking about it, is the moment that all of the sudden you say, hey man, I wanna tell you that I got the message about it, but I didn't do it, and I don't have a good excuse for it, but, and then you'd, and it's coming from a good place I mean most of the time it's coming from a really good place, but you would say something that would make him feel awkward Well, you know what? And so I'm really glad that you didn't I didn't say anything At that moment he's talking about what a good birthday he had, I'm not gonna be like– And then it would just be about the fact that Link forgot doing this, and everybody's talking about that

So you made the right call in not talking about it We probably shouldn't have even talked about it in the podcast, but too late for that Would you like that, by the way, for one of your birthdays, for a bunch of people to write you a letter? I mean that's kind of, I think that was kind of his love language, like, his wife knew that It does not strike me as something that I would be into I would appreciate it, if I were to read it I would be like oh this is actually really meaningful and nice

Words of affirmation? I think I would be into it But it's not something that I would think to request And I'm not saying he requested it Well he didn't I'm just saying that, I don't think that it's something that, like my wife would, first of all, it would require a level of logistical planning that neither of us, me or my wife, are capable of, to organize, but we can plan a really cool party

So that's probably what we would do But it wouldn't be I'm gonna get letters I don't know how that makes you seem, but it didn't seem good We can plan a cool party I'm saying that we can plan a party, but we can't plan multiple people sending things to one place, and it being there on time

But you know, if he's listening, let's just do it right now Matt, you're a great– See, now, this is the moment where if I'm like the part of your brain that speaks sensibly to you, I say don't do this because you're going to end up saying, you're gonna be making light of it, and then you kind of make light of the whole thing, and it ends up being less meaningful So, but now that you've started I'm ridden with guilt Guilt is riding me, like

You do, you struggle with guilt, you struggle with a lot of guilt, I've noticed this It's interesting when you said I don't have a lot of regrets, I didn't think of a lot of regrets, and then I was flooded with them I thought like Link is constantly regretting things, is my impression Cause it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do, you might as well go for it Well I agree with that

That's the thing, the things that are getting me are the things that I didn't do You know? What would've happened if I would've gone to that funeral? Well, again, you can't do that to yourself Yeah, I know Because it probably would've been, he would've been touched, and you would've felt good about it But, forget the funeral, it was a great opportunity to tell my friend that I really do love him and appreciate him

And I blew it Blew it off And now– At least I regret it, you don't even seem to regret it Didn't I say I do? I told you from the beginning I regret it But, I don't– But you don't seem like you do

Well, no because I don't think that, I don't know how fruitful it is to like, just beat yourself up over it Like, if you're gonna do something about it to rectify it, yes But if you're not gonna do anything to rectify it, why are you gonna sit there and feel bad about it? Well, I wanna feel just bad enough to not, to do differently next time That's exactly, okay, so here's what I decided about that situation I was like, you know what? He'll think this is funny, like, he'll think the fact that we're talking about it is funny, right? Like, he'll get a kick out of this

And you know what, I'm not ridden with guilt about it, I just think this is funny too No No, no, no, but you're not listening to what I'm saying I feel bad about it, but I know that he doesn't think like– He's not crushed He's not like oh I can't believe, I know they don't actually care about me or love me because I didn't send them

But, the action that I wanna take is not to be like, hey, I feel like I need to make this right with you In other words– Yeah, we didn't wrong him Oh I decided to go ahead and write you something No, what I'm gonna do is the next time a request of that nature comes in I need to remember if you actually want to do this you need to know you need to do it right now because if you do not do it right now you're not gonna do it And if you actually wanna do it, do it right now

I think you could've just emailed Like, listen, I'm gonna do it right now, but I'm only gonna be able to email it Is that okay, here it is? Well, that, I thought about that, but in the moment it felt like I'm gonna do this on my terms Yeah, like I'm usurping the process

I ain't got time, I don't know how stamps work They wanted it to be physical mail, and, so I, listen, it's not that I don't regret, it's just that I don't find it, I don't know what the benefit of just sitting around and thinking about it, like, the situation, I understand why you feel bad about not going to the– They're two different things, don't bring up the funeral anymore Okay, all right Forget about that, I agree with that And the other thing I think is, is we can just move on

Something that there's absolutely no question that you should have done feels different than something that you're asking the question of should I have done that? Also, you know, the letter thing was better, we also had a friend one time who his spouse said send a quick video, those are the worst Like, that's why the last one that was just audio– I did that though Audio's so much better The voice memo thing, that's the ticket Oh it's the best, but I did the video one

So when you're gonna do this for a loved one and surprise them, ask people to just email a voice memo That's the best There's a website that you can send people to That's the best thing to do Where they don't even have to email the voice memo

That's the best thing It just records right through the computer, and then you can approve it, edit it And then, you're like hearing their, hearing their voice Yeah, it's even better So you're saying that's what his wife should have done? Is that what you're saying? She– It's her fault

It's definitely her fault She should regret Right She should regret this all She should be riddled with guilt

Right Right Okay, we're not done with regrets Oh we're not? Cause I really wanna hit this one Dave DeWitt, "I regret not taking "Rhett and Link up on a lunch invitation

" Why can't you read? Start over It's too far away from me? Seriously? Yeah Like, I've been, you can't see dude I need glasses, and I'm about to totally ruin your brand Dave DeWitt tweeted at us, "I regret not taking Rhett and Link up on lunch

" Oh! I can't read it either Do you have any regrets about what you just said to me? "I regret not taking Rhett and Link "up on a lunch invitation cause I had to cover "a Slim Jim factory explosion in Garner, North Carolina "True story!" So, Rhett read that and turned to me and was like, do we know a Dave DeWitt? And then he reads the tweet to me, and I'm like, well, he's a journalist, I guess he did an article on us, back in North Carolina, back in the day So I just Googled "Dav DeWitt" And then we invited him to go to lunch, but he couldn't, because a Slim Jim factor exploded

I Googled "Dave DeWitt, Rhett and Link," and an article from June 30th, 2009 Oh wow So 11 years ago, and a couple months, written about us, and I'm just gonna read a quote from Link because that was what I found the most entertaining "'We were friends right from the start,' says Link "'You know, looking back, you can see "'that you were wired to be an entertainer, "'every opportunity there was to get in front of a group "'Rhett and I said yeah let's do a rap song

'" That's, what are you laughing at? It's like the transition to the rap song, and then, "'At the Beta Club Convention,' adds Rhett "'Yeah, who raps at the Beta Club Convention,' "says Link, laughing" We do, man Yeah, so this is like– Actually, I don't remember, I don't think he got that right, I think Dave DeWitt got us wrong because we didn't rap at the Beta Club Convention, we just told jokes Yeah, but we probably did say that we did that

You know? Oh you lied, you confused two stories, which that would be the first time we've done that Anything else in this article? Yeah, well this basically about, he wanted to talk to us because The Red House furniture commercial had just come out Oh But he goes on just to kind of put things into perspective Like he says, "They have produced more than 200 videos "from their basement studio in a small town "in rural North Carolina

"Those videos have been watched more than 16 million times" Yeah That still sounds like us It links to their website Oh

Oh their website is It redirects cause it wasn't Mythicalcom And then it, go back to the end, the end of this thing "Some day soon, Rhett and Link "may be more than just internet famous, "maybe they'll do an independent film project "with an actual budget

" Yeah, well maybe we won't But for now, "They're back in the basement "where the motivation is just to be funny and pay the rent, "if Rhett's father in law ever "gets around to asking for it" That's right Oh good closer Dave DeWitt, let us take you to lunch Oh you got somewhere to be, huh? Dave, you know, open invitation

If you ever wanna come out to Los Angeles, we'd love to get lunch So we didn't really get into it Man it's nice to be someone else's regret That feels good to me We didn't get into any heavy regrets, but we did personal, you got into about as heavy as it can possibly get

Did I? Yeah, I think so The death of a child Right, yes And somehow we went from talking about a burrito being cold or hot, and you're like you know that makes me think about the time I didn't go to a funeral I was like, whoa, what? Sorry

You know, I just, there's, here's the thing the that I'm sensitive to, if you wanna go back to it again Yeah, let's talk about this There's these moments of character when it's like you can, it feels like you can do something to like, you wanna help, or you wanna come to the rescue or something, and you wanna, something goes really wrong, and you wanna, I wanna know that I can respond and make a difference Okay, you know what, let's actually talk about this Because we do have a difference here, right? And I wouldn't say, and I'm sure, there's lots of people who think I'm an asshole

I get it, I understand Especially when we're in the midst of a conversation, and it's like, well Link seems to feel bad about that, and have empathy, and Rhett doesn't seem to feel bad about that I think you know me well enough, and I know you well enough Hold on, let me, to know that one of us is not a better, or nicer, or more empathetic person than the other I have the same, we're different, but– I agree with you, your assessment of this incident

I should not beat myself up over this at all And I do that a lot, especially on the podcast, and it makes you look like you're telling me not to beat myself up, or you would, I don't beat myself up about not going to that funeral, is what you say, that doesn't make you a, there should be no negative response associated with that I'm not worried, in therapy I am focusing on not caring on what people think about me, and I know a lot of people have thoughts about me, it doesn't bother me I shouldn't have done anything differently, I agree with you Right, but what I guess what I'm saying is, is I think a lot of times you might feel, your motivation to care about it is very pure and you have a big heart, and you wanna be there for somebody, but do you think that one of the reasons that you dwell on that kind of thing is because, because if I know for me, a lot of times, I want to do something to prove to myself that I'm capable of something

You know what I'm saying? It's not so much about, like, oh I actually think that doing this is going to make this giant impact in this person's life You know what I'm saying? It's more like, sometimes I feel there's a motivation to do something to kind of prove to myself that I care Prove to myself, not prove to them that I care Like, I wanna write a letter about my friend, to my friend turning 40 because that's the thing that a good friend would do Yes

That is an equation that frequently comes into my mind It's like, if I want to be a good friend, what would a good friend do here, and I wanna do it So it's a, once step removed from, yes, I would be glad to express my gratitude to my friend who just turned 40 in a letter There's this added baggage of what's the right thing to do, what's the person I wanna be? And it's kind of, it's tertiary There's some people who are like oh yes, I would love, I know exactly what I would say

And I'm lik oh I don't know what I would, you know, it's like I gotta come up with what to say, and now it's gotta You know, I think about all that Yeah, and that's just what I'm saying that I don't, like I'm hard enough on myself as, I'm very hard on myself, but I'm not hard on myself in a way that people recognize Do you know what I'm saying? It's just like I don't spend a lot of time talking about it, so you might be like, boy, is he a psychopath? He doesn't seem to care It's like no, I care deeply about a lot of things, but, I act when, I mean you know, one of the reasons why I every once in a while I'll just like write a Medium article about something that I feel passionately about

Yeah Is like, I'm not doing that to draw attention to myself, I know that that is an element of it, it's a result of it, but I'm doing it because I'm like I can't be quiet about this, like I feel like I have to say something So if I don't write a Medium article about the same thing does that mean that I don't care about that, or that I have a different stance? I think that's what you're saying Right The way that we, the way that you express yourself– It's just yeah, I express myself differently

So you can't beat yourself up by holding yourself to some external standard that's not, that shouldn't apply to you Right Yeah, and I just think that– And I think you– I just think that, like, being hard on yourself, like who are you, who are you trying to please, right? Like, when you say that's what a best friend would do, right? I no longer believe that there is a judgemental God watching me, and making sure I do the right thing I don't live by an ethic that is based on potential punishment or reward from a deity That's not, I don't think that way anymore, right? I think about what the tangible, experiential impact of my actions is

And it just so happens that most of the things that most people would consider moral are also things that you yourself will benefit from, right? Like doing things for other people, ultimately you also will benefit from those things And I'm just saying, I think that the idea of like, spending a lot of emotional energy sitting around and thinking about what you could have done or what would have been the right thing to do, it's just like, take the lesson, apply it for next time, but if you're just wallowing in it I'm not really It popped into my head with this prompt But I'm not wallowing in it

But you said you still feel bad about it It popped into my head, and then I felt bad about it But now I agree that I shouldn't feel bad about it, at all But you feel like kind of like maybe it's callous to say that Yes

But it's not really Cause it's misplaced, as we've already determined, it was misplaced empathy that has nothing to do with me And that I didn't have a place to make better Cause I wasn't actually connected to it Right

Whereas, a totally different scenario would be if somebody came to me and said, hey that thing you said or that thing you did hurt me in this way Now, the expectation at that point is like, oh, I gotta do something to make this right Like this isn't about me anymore This is about something that's like, if you had been a better friend to this guy, and he had been in contact with you, and he would've like called you up and been like, really hurt me that you didn't show up for me Yeah, he would never do that

Right Cause yeah So I guess what I'm saying is, it's just like, that's a moment in which like, oh, I'm gonna, my own personal regret is gonna lead to some sort of rectifying action Cause if at that point I don't feel bad, or I'm like get over yourself, well then I'm a callous asshole at that point Yeah, well, so two things

First of all, I fell like the one thing I didn't anticipate from the conversation, at least for me, is like there's somethings that I regret I shouldn't regret and I need to be free from that And the second thing is, we found something that we can agree on that we both regret Do you have a rec? I got a rec man I guess, I quoted Flea I'm gonna make a recommendation here

Mhm I was talking, well ironically, to our friend, I made the recommendation to him Last night Yeah, and to you on the video chat we did I've been reading Flea's autobiography, "Acid For The Children," and this is anecdotes of Flea's coming of age

This is not, this is the basest for The Red Hot Chili Peppers, if you don't know So as a fan of the Chili Peppers, Christy bought, and of like music documentaries, like Christy bought this book for me, and I've had it for a while, and I finally started reading it If you're into the Chili Peppers, if you know anything about Flea, and he's an interesting dude who, like, seems to be like, he's such a wholesome guy I think wholesome is the right word, which is not, if you don't follow him on Instagram, or you don't know much about it, then that might come as a surprise, but, the dude is like, I would love to meet the guy, actually And he's around here, maybe I could, he's in L

A Mhm It took a while to get into it, cause it's chronological stories, but, like, the dude tells anecdotes, I mean, and each chapter, as long as it takes to tell the story as he remembers it, it's just like isolated events in chronological order, most of them are like two pages You know? You could read it on the toilet Just put it behind your toilet if you want to

I'm sure he'd love that Right But, they're funny, they're mind boggling Like, stranger than fiction is the way that this guy, he was like raised bohemian lifestyle, and like, so strange, but he had this, like, and it's also fascinating the crazy stuff that happens to him, or the crises that are averted, and yeah, also that, I mean, the strange stories of drug use, and nude beaches, and all types of wild stuff, and he's not even 13 years old yet, at the point that I'm at in the book, so I haven't read the whole book You can hear him telling the stories when you read it, and it's like, he's such a, he's a one of a kind dude, like he's very strange

And, but there's, I also find it fascinating, there's like this inner morality in like the way that, you know, when you're talking about how you live your life, it's like, there's like this Flea approach to life that is very interesting, that you know, he doesn't explain, he just tells the stories, and then you read between the lines what type of guy he is and what makes him tick, and how his, how the thinks about things, how he processes life Mhm And even though he went through so many difficult situations as a young kid, and make some like, really, suspect choices, and was involved in a lot of things that would raise your eyebrows, the dude is, he somehow exudes positivity through all of it So it's like, it's not a heavy read, even though his life was very heavy Right

And that's just how he lived his life At least to this point And by judging from his Instagram feed now, I think that's just continued, so, it's not for everybody, but if you're into those things, if you're into him and the band, and stuff like that, then I recommend it Is he the one that said better to regret something you did than something you didn't do? He sang it, he sang, "But the Butthole Surfers "say it's better to regret something you did "than something you didn't do" It's a lyric in one of the songs? Yeah

Oh, and Flea sings that He sings that He does a little solo Yeah, right Obviously, if you're going to, if you're thinking about doing something that could put you in imminent danger, it's probably better to regret something you didn't do, than to do something, die, and regret that

So this doesn't apply across the board Yeah, it depends on the specifics But, if you take, I mean, all of the things equal, in terms of like, you know, safety, and self care, and no harm to others, and morality, and all of those things equal in the decision, I'm gonna lean towards doing something than not doing it When the reasonably, reasonable potential outcomes don't include death, or dismemberment, then I think the rule applies If you're talking about the potential outcomes being embarrassment, or, you know, getting in over your head, you can always swim to the top, you can get out of those situations

If you die, it's a problem Yeah But you can just keep learning, and keep moving forward Keep living Thanks for your questions, thanks for your regrets

Hashtag Ear Biscuits Don't dwell on them too much Don't beat yourself up Just learn, move on We'll talk at you next week

To watch more "Ear Biscuits," click on the playlist on the right To watch the previous episode of "Ear Biscuits," click on the playlist to the left And don't forget to click on the circular icon to subscribe If you prefer to listen to this podcast, it's available on all your favorite podcast platforms Thanks for being your mythical best

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