On Life, Death, and Turning 40 | Ear Biscuits

(upbeat music) – Welcome to Ear Biscuits I'm Rhett

– And I'm Link – Yeah, you gotta hit that consonant – Yeah, this morning we do (tongue clicking) What? What are you clicking for? – You gotta tell them that it's a morning again? – Well, yeah, I can just look at your face There's no denying it

– Now that we've done– – I guess if people are listening to your face – But now that we've done one Ear Biscuit in the morning, I think at this point, we should just make people guess – Guess – By looking at the face – Maybe I'm faking it

Maybe I'm throwing them for a loop – Yeah, I can have morning face at night I've done that before It's nap It's nap face

– Nap face – This week at the round table of dim lighting, we're gonna share some personal experiences I think there might be some deep introspection I think we're at risk of there being a point where this gets sad based on something I've got inside my own heart, okay? – Oh gosh – Here's the deal

– Yeah, you're already using the word heart – As of the– – You're not talking about the anatomy You're talking about it in the emotional sense – I know, I'm just warning you, people – Because technically, your heart doesn't actually hold any thoughts

I mean it's just a muscle that pumps your blood I mean I hate to burst your bubbles for everybody but that's all happen in your frickin' brain – And anatomically speaking, I don't have a bubble to burst So burst all you want – I just gotta maintain the balance here

– You mean making light of the fact that I said I'm gonna cry? – No, listen, man I mean I know what we're talking about so I might cry We're not gonna cry – Okay – You never know what's gonna happen

– Here is the deal – That phase – As of this current conversation, the moment of recording this, I am 39 years old As of the initial release of this podcast in its audio form, I am 39 years old but as of June 1st, 2018, I become 40 And I've already celebrated in a huge way

In party form and I wanna tell you all about that party And then wanna I transition into just an analysis of our own aging because buddy, I'm joining you in the boat, in the 40 boat – I'm about to get – Why? Did you just burn yourself on tea? You're like an old man, see? – I can't even drink I can't even drink tea anymore

– You got to put an ice cube in your tea? – I feel like Jim Bakker eating potato soup which incidentally, I watched a crap-ton of last night – Oh, you did? – Because RuPaul actually posted the very best of Jim Bakker It was a compilation on Twitter – On Twitter? – But it was a YouTube video And I just– – Did RuPaul edit this thing? – No

– I don't think RuPaul has time to– – It was a Super Deluxe video It was not– – Okay – I mean it was one that I had seen all the pieces before but it was the very best and it included that, (coughing) That's good moment – Which we put in the episode where we tasted the Jim Bakker Bucket, right? – Yeah, we did

– Is that why you got such nap face this morning 'cause you stayed up late watching a Jim Bakker Bucket? – It's only a 16-minute clip So no – I love the internet – I've already been to the gym I've been in a steam room with several other naked fellows

– Okay – I mean I'm up, man It's just my face, I guess my face You know what? I think maybe in the same way that there were people I saw, you saw as well comment on the internet when you asked let us know what you think about us recording in the morning I love people really I can definitely notice it's different

Well, I doubt that they can notice it's different My personal opinion is we suggested that it was different and then they just– – It's the power of suggestion – And they started to think that they were picking up on different things I think that my morning face is, if it was 11:00 pm

right now, you'd be like, you look tired, man – You just woke up? – And if it was the middle of day, you'd be like, you look normal That my theory – Hold on I thought you were gonna say in the middle of the day, I was gonna say, you looked tired

– No, middle of the day, I would be what you expect which is middle of the day face which is just normal – So your peak Rhett face at noon is what you're saying – I'm saying it's always the same – That's not what I heard but okay – I'm saying it right now, having been through the things that I've been to today, I can imagine that I still– – You should have peak face

– I still have what you would consider morning face Two hours ago, I definitely had morning face But I got steamed face now – Oh, well I guess, they're they're easily mistaken for one another I mean do I look like I have a nap face? – No, because I don't let the power of suggestion and the environment influence my opinions

I'm a perfectly rational being – Not even your own suggestion? I don't mean to insult you, Ear Biscuiteer listener but I do feel like when we said that and I guess it was the last episode talking about in the morning Was that the last one? Whenever it was, it doesn't matter We were just kind of planting something so that then you can feel like you were noticing something I mean– – Three ago? – Three ago

– Three ago – We're still waking up – What have we been doing? Steam rooming – There's an art to internetainment where you can plant something in a video that people will feel smart for noticing and then commenting on but really, we're the smart ones were putting in the video – We're the smart ones

Let's establish that – I'm not trying to insult you We wanted you to talk about how different it was in the morning If you thought that it was better – Okay, I'm sure it was different

– I'm just being factitious – Let me backtrack a little bit – I don't wanna hurt your feelings – I'm sure it was different but at least– – I'm getting old and crotchety – At least a percentage– – I'm almost 40

– At least a percentage of you definitely said something just because we said we gave you the opportunity to say it – And that's a good thing – But that's how the world works, man – We're pulling the curtain back You're seeing our bare bottoms in the hospital

It's not a curtain Well there is a curtain and then there's a– – Gown – A gown We're pulling the gown back because we don't hold anything back from you because that's the new me That's the middle-aged me

We can get into this but I mean 40 is not the middle of my age I aspire– – Well, statistically – Yeah – Speaking of probabilities – I'm not gonna statistically live past 80? – What is the average life expectancy of a man in America? Could somebody look that up? I would guess that it is– – 86

– No, I would say 82 max – Oh – And I would say probably 79 I think maybe a woman is 82 – If it's less than 80, lie

– No, don't lie Tell us the truth – [Staff] 7874 – 78, dang I was, I said 79

That's 70 point, what? – [Staff] 74 – [Rhett And Link] 7874 – Oh gosh – Yeah, dude

– I've already past middle age I didn't even know it – Yeah, yeah, yeah, your past – I did that a year ago – Exactly

That's what I call over the hill, man Now, I do think it means something different – This is what I wanna get into Let's not– – We're gonna talk– – Let's not get into it yet – Yeah, we're gonna talk about getting old

– Let's start– – Buckle up – Let's start with a party, man, because I feel like I owe it to you to give a complete play-by-play of my party because A, we did that with your party, Rhett – Yeah, yeah – And B, you you weren't invited So this is my way of including you even though you weren't invited

Or you know what? Maybe you're one of the people that was invited and you'll know when I'm lying about something, embellishing to make my party seem good Of course, you're here for that – I'm here for that I need a t-shirt that says that – Thanks for coming to my party, Rhett

– You're welcome – When you walked in, I'm was so relieved that you showed up – I almost didn't come – You thinking about– – Last minute, we're like should we? – What were you thinking about doing? – I was gonna watch Apollo 13 – Oh, again

It's a good movie – I was like, eight, you know – You know you're gonna get a good satisfying experience but with the party, you're like, do you experience an anxiety when going to a party like anybody's party? I always have a tinge of anxiety when I go into– – Of course – Maybe it's just any sort of social– – I mean I experience this Yeah, I think I experience a tinge of anxiety if I'm in any environment that is not 100% familiar to me

– Okay, it's good that you're admitting that I'm just joking Okay, Christy turned 40 on May 13th There's a two-week gap there where she's older than me I mean she's always constantly older than me and I do point that out to her in strategic moments

Older women make beautiful lovers is the country song That's a good country song But never is it more obvious in the two weeks when she's 40 and I'm not – Right – And we plan our party smack dab in the middle

I mean we had implanted the party We really had to run interference with what you did I think we talked about this in terms of like you had a grand party, man – I set the bar real high – You set the bar really high and honestly, I had multiple conversations with Christy in the privacy of our own zone where I was like, let's not have a party

Like and it wasn't, I mean it wasn't like, I don't think I can top Rhett's party I mean Christy did say something like, don't compare, don't compare You don't have to think like that You have to compare our party to Rhett's party It's a good party but it's just not a healthy path

– You were gonna let that keep you from having a party? – Nah, it was just one factor I think – I mean I did have probably the greatest birthday party ever But that shouldn't you stop you from trying – In general, I mean like I said even going to a party, there's like a level of anxiety that maybe most people will experience like what's this gonna be like stepping into this thing? But then when you're in charge of it, I mean it seems like there's more pressure

I mean it certainly didn't take any pressure away to have experienced your party But Christy really wanted a party And I came around, I was more than happy to be a part of it I was like but we got it Okay, I want there to be something

I want there to be an activity so we ultimately decided that we were gonna have a bowling party and we found this amazing venue The oldest bowling alley in the city of Los Angeles which is one of the oldest cities in the world I don't know if you know – I did not know that – The second part, I don't know, I need to wiki that

But the first part is to Highland Park Bowl Super cool venue, right? Like we had never been there but we visited in order to see – I could describe the place just so you don't seem to like a braggy daddy – Okay, yeah, well, I didn't build it I didn't renovate it

– But this place was– – [Link] It is the oldest bowling alley in LA – [Rhett] Very, very, very, cool Like stepping into a bowling alley from a time gone by So like you got this– – [Link] Prohibition era – [Rhett] You like walk in there and there's a bar on each side and then there's the lanes and they've got, they're doing a lot of things to kind of establish the vibe

– [Link] Right – This is a hipster bowling place, very cool place All the bowling balls are black There's no pink balls here, no blue balls either It's just all black balls

– It was an aesthetic choice, not a functional– – Makes it a little difficult to remember which ball is yours but it's worth the cool factor – And the lanes not only look amazingly vintage but the whole place is 91 years old built in 1927 – The mechanisms – The mechanism in the very back When you bowled and knock down the pins and then the mechanism, the robot thingy, picks up the pins, sorts them all out and puts them back down and sucks the ball up

– It looks like a steampunk Like a steampunk set Oh, gosh, I'm knocking over the water – It's all exposed – It's real

– So you can see the inner workings of it Nothing's covered – Do we have a like a napkin? I don't want– – Use your sleeve – I don't wanna lead Newton's signature to go away – Here, use that, right there

– Oh, Lindsey Sterling – I'm gonna let you use my jacket sleeve So anyway, yeah, it was a super cool place They have a a pizza oven so they're like making some good pizzas – Oh, the food was incredible

– And just as our book dictated, there will be meatballs at the party Well, there was meatballs at the party – Was that a special request because of our book or that's something they do? – It's something they offer and I was like, they were like we can have meatballs I was like there will be meatballs – They're spicy meatballs

They were so big though, I don't think we could have played hide the meatball I didn't even think about eating the meatball – I could have – Because I was throwing the bowling balls – I actually didn't get to eat a meatball

I mean, so there was like, I don't know, maybe 120 of our friends and the Mythical crew members were also there who I consider friends and in the party zone, not co-workers – Oh, friends in the party zone And Christy and I are mingling– – Lionel Richie showed up – Yeah, you said I should get Lionel Richie but we didn't do that We had a DJ and I made a playlist which I steered clear of yacht rock even though that is one of my favorite genres of music because you had the gold standard of yacht rock cover bands at your party

I just steer clear of that – What did you play? – It was late 70s, early 80s So around the time that we were born Soul and funk music But the bowling alley so loud that it just kind of all blends together

– Yeah, it didn't register, really – I didn't want the music too loud so that you can talk with you people – And did the DJ feel emasculated by that request? – I pay him so he could feel any way he wants to feel – No, I think DJ's get off on– – Being listened to – Playing the music so loud– – I didn't ask

– That you cannot have a meaningful conversation with anyone – I couldn't tell and I didn't care He did a great job And I don't think he was upset So it was a cool spot

Christy I had matching bowling shirts I don't know if you noticed – I did, with your names on them – Of course, we also have matching bowling trips when we did the fire bowling but you wore yours – Oh, I mean of course I have to wear it

– Jessie could have worn mine and you could've – Jessie got her own – She got her own – She went off on her own and got her own bowling shirt – We tried really hard to find something to put on the back of the shirt for me and Christy and we landed on striking while we're still hot

– Where'd you get that? – I think that Jessie came up with it – My wife – 'Cause I was like– – She's very good – She loves that Yeah, there was a text thread, it's like– – She's really good at slogans

– Let's see, 'cause I wanted it to be something that was lame Like bowlver the hill I think is what I came up with A combination of bowling and over the hill if it's not clear Christy didn't like that so striking while we're still hot

– They don't wanna focus on– – And it was a bowling ball and there was flames – The back end of the hill They wanted to focus on the fact that– – We're still good looking – Yeah – And then I had, I requested that Christy shirt also have, you know those the silhouette of the women that are on the mud flaps of Briggs? – Of course, I've got two on the back of my sedan

– I wanted her to put those on the collar – Along with a pair of truck nuts – The lapel of her bowling shirt And when she nixed that idea, I put it on my bowling shirt because I wanted it to represent her on her own shirt and I was gonna have the man version on my own and when we started looking into the man version of mudflap silhouettes, it's very problematic – Right, because what can you emphasize? – Right, so I have the woman on mine and then we had our names embroidered

– I noticed that – Mine said Link – I noticed a woman I didn't ask any questions about it – It's Christy's silhouette

She's still hot and my name said Link and underneath it said, 40 years old Because I'm like I'ma own this Christy also didn't want her to say 40 years old but it said 40 on the lapel These are the type of things that you get into, the minutia of planning a party and that's when I'm like, oh, my gosh, there's so much effort and planning and details and then it's very overwhelming for me I think the thing that I learned was it was a great party

And I feel like I would have had so much more fun if everything was the exact same except it being my party I think that's my problem is that– – I understand that – I feel like, I told Christy somewhere in the middle because we're like mingling and talking with our family Man, it feels like a wedding reception I'm like not getting to eat anything and I'm like talking everybody and it's becoming a blur whereas if you just attend a party, mission number one is just to have fun

But when you're in charge of it, mission number one is that, at least in my mind and I couldn't check out from this, is making sure everybody else was having fun And who am I kidding? They were It wasn't up to me I mean you set the stage and then hey we're frickin' bowling in this amazing place You got pizza and you got bowling shirts

– I think, I don't know when this happened Definitely in the past like two years, I've experienced a shift in recognizing that I enjoy creating experiences for people – Okay – And while I completely relate to what you were saying, it's difficult to enjoy anything that you've, it's difficult to enjoy a meal that you cooked as someone who prepares, you know, I'll have like a bunch of people over and like do a pork butt or something I enjoy food more if I go to a restaurant than if I make it for myself and for other people but I kind of shift it to like all these people are enjoying this and then you take a little bit of the pressure off yourself

So I think that my– – You think you're becoming more of a host? – My party, when people kept coming up and saying they're having a good time, I was having a good time I was anxious about when things are happening and that kind of thing And then like the game night that we've been doing which I legitimately been having a lot of fun personally but the fact that people are enjoying it, I'm enjoying that vicariously I think that's the key to not being anxious about something that, at your own party 'Cause everybody did have a really good time

I almost had a great time because I almost was winning bowling tournament – Oh, you he giving it away You lost Well, we had a bowling tournament and Christy said, okay, we're gonna hop on the mics so you can orient people to how this bowling tournament's gonna go Mic, well that means we need to make a speech

She's like I'll talk first and then you can do that I gotta have my speech so like I worked up a speech that I don't know if you could tell by the execution of my speech but I F'd it up, man

– Well, here's what I'll say When you, in the middle, you were talking and you were like, he's talking about the bowling rules or something, the way the tournament is gonna work and then there was a pause It was a little longer than I was comfortable with And then you were like, F what they say about being 40 And I was like, and what I thought was, Link's got something here

Like I know how your brain works and so I was like– – He's going into– – He's got something, he's prepared something but then– – He was trying to access something that he had prepared but it fizzled – Then you just had like another sentence – It fizzled I mean it turned into a heartfelt thanks to all my friends for being there But here's what I wanted to do

I wanna say okay, I'm gonna start by saying something that's gonna get everybody's attention Like what the heck? And this was I was gonna say I don't give a flying F what people say about 40 and then I was gonna say, I can't even remember it right now I should have had it on a card You know you can't have it on a card

I don't give a flying F what people say about 40 I think 40 is fabulous when you're fortunate enough to have friends like these See the Fs? – Yeah, alliteration – And then I was just gonna leave it at that – Oh, that was all? – That was it

That was it – Right, okay – I had planned just that and I was gonna leave it at that because you know me, I ramble and things start to fall apart The worst example of that was my wedding rehearsal dinner that we constantly make fun of me for which I deserve it which is I went around and started thanking every single person that attended my– – Personally – Wedding

– They all got a like a two-minute speech – Which was literally, I mean – Two times 60 is 120 It was two hours – I mean it might have been a 90-minute speech because once I got into it, I couldn't back out and I'm like I'm not gonna make that mistake

I'm gonna have something quick and it's gonna be about Fs – Okay, all right, yeah – And then I blew it And it doesn't matter – I don't think anybody other than me knew you had something that you didn't fully patched

– Yeah, yeah, yeah The egg cracked on the floor but I scraped it up and no one else cared That's the thing is like I start, when you start to focus on things that don't matter that much I don't think throwing parties is for me, man Just for my personal enjoyment

Well, next time, you should plan my parties – But I think it's just a shift in – Mentality? – Because, well, you've already said it – I mean if I could do more parties – But you just said it

You just said that I would have more fun if this was not my party And what is the thing that you're anxious about? How good of a time who's having You are the people who are there – The people – And the default disposition of a person who's at a party is enjoyment

Especially a good party So if you put the ingredients in place and then it just starts happening, you look around you're like, these people are having a good time I'm gonna enjoy that I have been thinking about this, actually, quite a bit I've been thinking about what other things could I engineer, like other experiences could I engineer for groups of people? Maybe I should become– – A tour guide

– Because I've been thinking about doing something special would like the game night And now, I can't do a party like we did last year but like, neither of us have ever thrown parties I haven't had a birthday party – I think the thing that you're on– – In two years – I think the thing that you're on to– – But because the last year, I'm like I wanna do this again

– Yeah, it's more about The thing about my personality type that's different from yours is I'm a perfectionist So I'm constantly thinking not is this great but I have in my mind what is the perfect party

The perfect party that I've planned, right? So when it's okay, for the last round of the tournament, like when the last two teams are bowling and I want everyone else to gather around and when the person's going to bowl, I'm gonna get the DJ to kill the music And it's gonna be comedically dramatic for these amateur bowlers to feel like they're in a frickin' bowling tournament That will be funny and it also be fun for everybody to be to be focused on it But then, when the party goes along and the frickin' DJ's packing up and it's like, okay, that can't happen These are the things that start to go off in my mind as a perfectionist that I think it's healthy for me to come to grips with of course and maybe that does mean throwing more parties

And of course, no one but me – No one knew that that's what you wanted – Right, so it didn't bum me out actively but subconsciously, as a perfectionist, these things tend to stick in your raw – If you can find a way to take a mental note next time I have a bowling birthday party, I'll do it in a way so that we make sure that the tournament is still going when everybody's still there but I'm not gonna not enjoy this first one – I didn't

I enjoyed it as much as I could at this point in my life but when I'm 50, I will enjoy it even more A couple of other side notes We also planned the party on a Sunday night I think spare no expense to have a party on a Friday or Saturday night That's my other thing

Because we rented out the whole bowling alley and there was no way we could have done that on a Saturday So there would have been other people there on a Saturday but I don't know if that would've been a better choice or in general, to throw an epic party, you can't do it on a Sunday – You can't have people worrying about– – 'Cause a lot of people got a, they got to go somewhere – They can't be worrying about their lives the next day – Other than that, I'm very happy with it

– It was a great party It was a really good party I mean Lionel Richie would have really sent it over the top – See, I'm fine with that joke That doesn't hurt me because that wasn't part of my plan

– But Lionel, he's not that responsive He's just not that responsive – Lionel is not responsive Trust us – Yeah, he's got his own thing

– We're begging, begging to hear from Lionel – He's got his Lionel thing and it's good – We've got ours – Okay, we're gonna talk about getting old so stay tuned for that First, we're gonna let about some stuff that you can buy

– Well, you can buy this Cotton Candy Randy t-shirt that I'm sporting but we've got all types of Good Mythical summer stuff We got the Good Mythical summer camp shirt The rest about to hold up We got the dink it and sink it shirt Brand new to the store

Go to mythicalstore I said the word got in there Mythical got store It's nothing

– Don't go there Go to mythicalstore This is the Good Mythical summer camp t-shirt Good Mythical summer camp is not something that actually exists yet

But we do have a t-shirt that captures the experience that one might have there We've got the two of us around a campfire – They can see, if they're looking at it, they can see it They are looking at it – But what about? Oh

– Actually, they can't see it There you go – Here See? I was holding it outside of the frame – That's why you're describing it

– My new thing is to not give you the whole thing and talk about it – Okay, there it is There we are Now, we don't have to describe what's happening 'cause A, you already have it, B, they're looking at it It's not an actual camp

It's a shirt for camp that doesn't exist – Ring tee – Here, take that one back too Put that over there Thanks for supporting internetainment and wrapping your team which is Team Mythical Beast through the summer

– I will say just one small, one additional thing that– – I don't give a flying F what they say about turning 40 40 is fabulous when you're fortunate enough to have friends like you – That's good You should have said that – For reals

– The only thing that kept me from enjoying your party in the way that– – Wait, you can stop clapping now Come on, we need to bowl, just party It's not about me Just have fun You know, it's not about me

– It's the fact that when I got into the party, like literally walked in, saw the food, so all the bowling lanes, was like I'm gonna have such a good time – Really? – I made up my mind that I wasn't gonna worry about the fact that the next day was Monday and I said I don't care F Monday is what I said But then, my beautiful wife comes up to me and says, "I left my phone in the Uber" – Seriously? – Yeah, I said, oh gosh

Of course, I still have a phone so now, I'm responsible for handling this and also – So you gotta solve this crisis instead of being in party mode – We will use my at my app So and also– – How does one get a phone back? – Great question It's not as easy as one might think especially when your driver does not speak English well

– Because you still had his number? – There was a communication, her number, mister assumptions – Thanks for calling me mister assumptions I kind of like it – What did I do? Oh, you can click on help, click on I lost an item Then it eventually puts you through to this number that calls them

But it doesn't show what their number is I don't really understand It's basically so that you can go to their system in the right way They're supposed to get like a $15 reward back or whatever when they bring it back but this Uber driver did not understand the system and did not really understand how that worked And so when I got her on the phone, it took about 10 minutes to just explain that my phone is still in the car, my wife's phone is in the car because she was charging it with one of her dilly-dallies

And anyway, I got it back but it took like an hour and a half So like the first hour and a half of your party, I was kind of dealing with that and like having to go out into the lobby to be able to hear myself and hear the driver on the phone and eventually she brought it back And then when I went out, I had $16 cash Now the thing said give $15 for a returned item I had 16, that's all the cash I had on me

I was like here's $16, that's all I got and then she was like 25 – Ooh – And she was holding the phone captive – You're not in a position to barter at this point Well, you could barter

You give him a watch – So I ran back in and just found the nearest friend – Seriously? – Yeah Ward and Annie were there I was like, you guys got 10 bucks? (laughing) – You got Ward to give you 10 bucks? – Daddy needs 10 bucks I told him why and they gave it to me

– Oh, wow – Yeah, I need 10 bucks but– – Or do you? Whenever you go to give her that 10 bucks, she's gonna be like 25 bucks – She said don't worry about it Anyway, I got the phone back I certainly had a blast then I lost, actually, I did, okay

– You didn't lose the tournament You got down to the last two teams – Well, again – And half of one of the teams had a band in my party – My team was my wife and I and Stevie and her girlfriend, Cassie

And I ended up talking, Tobias of Buddy System thing and he's also been in a lot of other stuff Tobias, he came in and I was talking to him about, I was like, I'm definitely not gonna win My team, Stevie and Cassie and Jessie and me so I'm definitely not gonna win But I didn't say, all I told him was like, well, I'm definitely not winning So Tobias was talking to Stevie and they were talking about the tournament

He was like, all I know is Rhett said he's definitely not gonna win – And Stevie was like– – Stevie and Cassie came out to me and they were like, oh, we heard what you were saying about your team Well, we didn't win But then one couple that was half of the four-person team who made it to the finals had to leave early and then, Nick and Alison, and then Nick came up and was like hey, you wanna be on my final team and then Ben's girlfriend, Jordan, joined our team – I will point out when you start recruiting people to your final team, championship team, you should have an advantage to win except when the person on the other team, one of the four guys is Daven who works for us and he has professional bowling shoes

– He brings his own shoes But I'll also say that I'm not really good at bowling and neither is Jordan We're just average – Yeah, I try to make it interesting – It was like okay, we're not gonna bring in like the best person here

– And then you lost by six pins – Six pins – It came down to the last roll which was pretty dramatic Good way to end the party – What are the chances that four people added up with four other people, it comes down to just six pins? – 100%, I planned it that way

– Oh good – To end the party In the days following the party, I felt the need to actively engage in reflection on my life and the fortyness of myself now I have to admit, I felt in a little bit of a funk after the thing It's kind of cliche but I have kind of felt that way

I think obviously, I'm a little too cerebral when it comes to my own party I've got things I got to work through But then beyond that, you start to think I got all these friends here and I'm blessed to be where I'm at and have all these people that mean so much to me It's like I started thinking weird things I'm like, but how much do they really mean to me? You start to think weird things like kind of depressed, depressed thoughts

– Okay, interesting – It's like I don't them which is kinda sad – I did not anticipated that was what you gonna say I thought you're gonna say you got all these friends together

They're for a party but they're really just mourning the death of the prime of your life Like now, I can relate to that – My point is I'm seeing things that are totally unfounded at a point where I can be very grateful and I'm typically very positive I've been experiencing a little cloud of negative introspection and over analyzation so I'm on the backside of that now And so now, all I'm thinking about because I've gotten through that is just the, the sheer symptoms of getting older

And it's not just the graying of hair I'm glad I made the decision to like let the gray hairs fly It hasn't been a year yet but you know, looking my age a little bit But the thing that's getting me is not the hair on my head but the hair in other places I've started to shave weird spots, man

Like I've got I've got hair on my shoulders I got this like weird little community on the right shoulder and the left shoulder 'cause when I might brushing my teeth in the mirror, I'm like, what is that? A weird community up there Yeah, I'm shaving my face and like, I'll just go down there, shave that off a little bit Got a little one over here – She wax it

– Shaved that one off over there – Kill the follicle, man – And I think this is common because in that song Amanda which there's a Don Williams version, there's a Waylon Jennings version That says, he talks about I look in the mirror in total surprised to see the hair on my shoulders and the age in my eyes So I'm like, okay, all right, Waylon and Don went through this

I'm in good company, I'll be okay But then I start looking at my ears – Once you start, you just can't stop – And I'm like there's a community of hair on my ears and I ain't even talking about in my ears That's the common thing

I'm talking about the outer ridge like right there, on like the outer ridge in my ear, I got a community of hair growing right there You see it? And so every few days, I gotta hit that with a razor – Yeah, yeah, a little thick – It's hard not to nick your ear when shaving it with a razor, man – You have to get an ear razor

– I feel like a kid who's just going through puberty and learning how to shave but it's my ear And also the inside, like I have nose trimmers that I shove in my ears and I've looked at you on Good Mythical Morning enough to know that you got a community coming out of your ears – Yeah, here's the thing It's gotta be there for a reason – Oh, you want me to leave it? Just let it grow out? – I'm just that like there must be some survival benefit

– Like when you get so old– – There's a reason that old men have hair in other places and just because I don't understand their survival benefit doesn't mean that it doesn't exist I don't wanna get rid of it because then I might die – Well, when you get older– – Who am I kidding? I also groom myself – You can't hear as well when you get old So I think it's your ears just closing themselves up with hair

It's like, we don't need these anymore The frequency fidelity is gone so let's just close up shop – And I think you need some signs You need to know – Know what? – You need some physical indications that you're getting old

– Well, that's one – Little red flags – I'm not done with the hair because – Yeah, your wife told me that you had some kind of egg – Some kinda egg? – I don't know

She just told me that she walked in and you had some little like handheld like egg-shaped thing you were running it every part of your body – Not an egg, a peanut It's a clipper – Yeah, a peanut – There's a certain type of clippers

You know, like hair clippers, (buzzing) you give someone a buzz cut with Well, there's a smaller version made by Wahl with an H, not a sponsor, called the Peanut It's a smaller clippers that all of the hairdresser's have and it's just like, it's easier for grooming, like your body hair – 'Cause it fits in weird places? Shove your peanuts with it? – 'Cause it's smaller, yeah So yeah, I've been using that and yeah, for two years now, I'm loud and proud that I trim all body hair

Like my leg hair, I like to keep that felt – Oh, I know – I trimmed off but I wait so long I trimmed off so much body hair, I stand in the shower, no water Just so can gather it up

I gathered up enough body hair that I peanut it off of myself It was like the size of a human brain It's like a hair brain – I'm sure you can be compressed into a much like a mouse brain, probably – Yeah, I did

I compressed it into the mouse brain and then I wrapped in toilet paper and I put it in the, not the toilet and that's be a mistake That's be as mistake I put it in the trash can But here's the last place that I've noticed hair that gosh, if this is happening at 40, what's gonna happen at 50? – You quit caring at 50 – I've noticed hairs on my nose

– Oh yeah, the tip of the nose – Like here, on the bridge, like not the bridge but like just above the nostrils right in the middle – Like a troll – Like a frickin' troll – Yeah, it's all yours

– I'm not shaving those, I'm plucking it – Plucking it, yeah – I pluck my eyebrows, I never got out of that since puberty so now, the time of self-care is just like, it's just blooming, man The time takes to– – What else do you have to do? – The time it takes to get all the hair off my body

Like I'm frickin' plucking hairs off the top of my nose? – It gives you purpose, man That is the thing though As you get older, you start, you know, and this is the thing that I've been contemplating – And hold on, some of them are black You think they're just little white hairs? No, I have a few that are actually black

What on earth? It's like the hairs on my head are turning white – Again, there's a reason There's a reason There's probably some sort of sensitivity like when you get close to things as an old person, you need to know that you're getting close to a wall and the hairs on your nose touch it first and you stopped short before you died – Whiskers

– As I've been 40 for months now – You're killing it too – I'm so much more conscious of age You know how like when you've got like when you're thinking about getting a new car and then you start seeing that car everywhere? – Yeah – Or you start thinking that you've got some sort of, like we got a friend who was losing his hair and he was like I'm thinking about it so I look at everyone's hair to see how much hair they've got

– I'm gonna start looking at people's noses – I never thought about age in the way that I've been thinking about it lately and I think part of it is this little question that I can't escape and that's my best years' behind me And I know that that's a very cliche thing but I especially, and I'm a futurist That's my disposition I'm always thinking about what the next thing is and I've always firmly believed that my best work is ahead of me, right? And I still feel that about what we do, right? So I still have every reason to believe that the most significant thing we're going to create is something we have yet to create

– And even if that's utterly false, it's very important to believe it – Right – But then I begin– – It's very healthy to believe – But then I know that at some point, at some point, it will become irrational to believe that, right? Okay, at some point, it becomes unlikely that the thing that is gonna be the greatest thing you've ever created is ahead of you I still feel like it's rational at this point but then I start thinking well, maybe it's not

And again, this is a pretty selfish thing 'cause your life is not boiled down to these things that you create for your own self-glorification I'm aware of that and I'm aware of the, you know, what is the word I'm looking for? – The psychology behind your statement, you mean? – Just the fact that this is not a healthy way to think about things necessarily But that's the thing I've been thinking about lately is like you start noticing, oh, that guy is younger than me Why am I thinking that? When you start, we talked about this before how I spent most of my life like thinking like NBA players are older than me And even when you become older than the average NBA player, you still see them as older because you see them as these elevated athletes

– That's mode with which you've always watched them – But now, I definitely feel older than them And I just find myself thinking about age and then also thinking about like I'm 40 and then I start thinking, man Oh man, as soon as the summer's over, there's like a couple of months and then I'm 41 And that happens so quickly

And that's one year out of 10 and then I'm, and then at 50 – It's like on Footlights when he's like I'm 41 years old and I ain't got no place to go when it's over, you know? Great song by the way And I do take comfort in the fact that one of Merle's best albums, Serving 190 Proof It's 41 years old I think we've talked about that

For me, I'm I try to adopt I'm staying with country music lyrics for some reason And I'll stick with Waylon here in the song Waymore's Blues, he says, I got my name painted on my shirt I'm no ordinary dude, I ain't got to work Just puts it in perspective that like the song is a blues song and he's like, I mean he's acknowledging his age especially when you pair it with like the song I mentioned earlier about the hair on your shoulders and dealing with that but like the dude is live and life still wearing, you know, and the man, he says I'm crowding 30 or an in the lyrics and some versions are also now I've turned 40 and I'm still wearing jeans

It's like I'm still a kid at heart I'm still living this dream life where I've got my own frickin' logo on my shirt is what Waylon was singing It's like I ain't got nothing to complain about even though I may be over the hill It's like few people can say can walk around in jeans in their own merch proudly So I think that's that's kind of how I tried to, that's the perspective I try to adopt is just I wanna being grateful for what we've got and for what we've already accomplished even if that's it but it's not healthy just to rest on your laurels

So I do think it's good for us to believe our best work is ahead of us but at some point, you just retire and spearfish – Well, that that's another thing is I mean obviously, retirement is nowhere in sight – [Link] No – But I'm reading a book and then the main character is recently retired and he just sits and watches television in the afternoon like watches like Judge Judy and Dr Phil and his life has become that but then something happens that then kind of reengage him and what his career was

– Is this a Stephen King book? – Yeah, it's the first, it's the first in the Mercedes killer trilogy which I don't know if that's the name of it but I can't remember the name of the book but it's that Mercedes killer trilogy – Okay – You know, and this guy's 62 in the book and I think about how he didn't have anything So you mentioned spearfishing I feel the need to begin to introduce and again, we have some things that we do like you know, but at least one of them is something that would be is gonna be difficult to do as you get older

Like I mean the whole paddle boarding thing is, or at least paddle surfing and the way that we do I mean as much as you've alone been injured in the process of the few times that we've been At 60, you're probably not gonna wanna be willing, you're not gonna be willing to deal with whatever the physical repercussions of getting hurt are – Is that why you're getting into golf? – Well, it is one reason – Back in the golf

– I'm getting back in the golf because my dad's coming into town and I wanna play with him and I also wanna get the boys into it and especially Sheperd 'cause he didn't really have anything that sports that he's really into – You could make a lot of money off a kid playing golf, I hear – Too late you got to start him when they're like one But anyway – But you thought of it? – But the idea of, you know, I heard Joe Rogan say one time that everybody needs, you got to have something that you wake up to do

And right now, we got put– – That sounds good as a general statement I think it probably is more true of some people than other people But in general, I do think that's true of us Well, specifically, I think that's true of us – I would say most people need something when they wake up to do

– In one form or another – But that could be read the paper I'm just saying that like once you stop having something to wake up and do And so that's when I start getting really self-conscious about like what we've created And of course, we have, I think we've talked about this, maybe we haven't but we have a chip on our shoulder in some regards when it comes to our work in what we've done because everything that we've done is kind of lived under this, in the world of YouTube

And this is probably an unreasonable thing to think but there is a certain connotation that comes along with the word YouTuber and the stuff that YouTubers do and it's because it's such a broad category and something that anybody can do When we talk to people in the industry about some other ideas that we have that may transcend YouTube and maybe something like a TV show or a movie or something like that even though there's not really that much of a distinction anymore between these different medias For instance buddy system was not even reviewed Not one critic wrote a review of buddy system Nobody cared about our show on YouTube Red because nobody cared about YouTube Red at the time

– I cared – And so there's this chip on our shoulder that we wanna create something that people can't help but encounter even if they hate it but people have to encounter and have to talk about it But then I started thinking, okay, but at what point am I too old to be able to create that and to be able to get people to care about it Because I started thinking well, people don't really know there were 40 That's the best thing we've got going for us is they still see us as these like, I don't know how old they are but those guys from YouTube

They seem young and they're on YouTube so they must be young Hold on, but the one with glasses, he's got gray hair And so you start second-guessing I think that's that's what I've been dealing with and again, I recognize that it's not, this is not a healthy way to think because the other thing that I'm trying to do just like personally, is get to a place where I don't care about what people think and I don't care about, and I don't evaluate myself through the lens of what people think about my accomplishments – Or creating something that then you're satisfied that it now defines you in a way that you wanna be defined

I'm definitely thinking more about it I think when I mentioned earlier that like I just felt like I've been, I guess you can call it a depression like if it's like a few days stint like for the past week or so The one missing piece of the puzzle which is certainly is a huge factor in all this was I had to fly home right before the party The two days leading up to the party, I had a shocking death in the family My uncle passed away

It was a a tragic accident on his farm It was utterly shocking to our entire family So like, we all flew home for that He was 69 years old, he was retired He was doing what he loved

I mean it's not a joke but he died doing what he loved He was on his tractor On his on his own land, that his grandparents' farmed, his parents' farm, he farmed and his son farms – And he also made a decision– – And that's how he went out – He made the decision to stop doing his, he could have kept working at his other job

– Sure – But he made a decision because he wanted to farm So that was why he got up every day – But it was certainly an untimely and shocking end to his life I thought we were gonna have to cancel the party because I didn't, you know, we weren't gonna, we were gonna be there for the family and then get back whenever it made sense and then it worked out but it was literally, we flew back in that morning then at night, we're having a party

So I think the day after the party and the day since, it's not all those things together for me have, you know, when you talk have led to a lot of introspection and reflection, I think that we talked about being over the hill but there's an underlying assumption If you listen to a lot of what we said in this whole conversation, it's just assumption that what's the average age? 'Cause I'm gonna beat that or I'm at least gonna hit that I'm gonna live to 79 And then there's of course no guarantee that that's gonna happen I think that I certainly don't think about and it would drive me nuts if I woke up every morning, I thought this could be my last

There was the guy, you know the old guy with the beard who worked on like the pyrotechnic stuff for GMM like when we did the fireball in his stuff? He had that catchphrase when we'd see him and we were like hey, man, glad to see you again I can't remember his name And he would always say– – I woke up alive – Now, it's up to me You know, it's like I woke up alive, now it's up to me

So it's like– – I mean and not just, maybe he had and he is a pyrotechnician, maybe he's had some close calls But he's also an older guy – Yeah, I mean he could, I mean dude looked in his 70s – He could be that old, yeah – But I guess he adopted this mantra

Do you think it's a healthy mantra? Maybe it is when you're that age Like at 40 years old, I don't wanna wake up every morning and say this could be my last day because I think that would frickin' wig me out but I think there's got to be a way for some of that perspective to influence kind of what you're saying about being so focused on what is it we're gonna create that's gonna provide legitimacy or what, you know? It really is not healthy – I don't know what the balance is Because the thing that I struggle with is I mean this is like the thing that I think about all the time is another one of my mini personality defects is just how much I want to accomplish, right? For those of you who know the Enneagram, I'm a three on the Enneagram which is an achiever and it just basically means that I'm hypercompetitive Anybody who's watched the show knows that

I want to win, I want to be the best I wanna create things that people notice And while that's been helpful– – And then be commended for it – Yeah, yeah, that's how I want, basically it's how do you wanna be loved and so the way that I wanna be loved is by people loving the things that I create and so I'll get uncomfortable if you start talking directly about me I'd rather you talk about something that I created

But the struggle is that I'm like okay I don't wanna care about accomplishing things but if I don't care, I wanna accomplish things So I gotta get on in this loop because I'm like, yeah, I guess there is some state of contentment that like a monk somewhere has where they're like my work is this simple repetitive thing that I do and the whole point in being a monk is to kind of take away the things that distinguish you as yourself That's why you shave your head and that's why you wear the same thing that everybody does That's why you do the same thing that everybody does

That's why you there's there's no hierarchy You're not like he's the head monk It's like everybody becomes equal and you kind of fade into humanity And I know that that's healthy in a lot of ways but it also scares the crap out of me So I think about like– – You really don't look great with shaved head

– Yeah, yeah, and I couldn't have a beard probably too It'd be horrible That's the main reason I'm not a monk – But the hood, big hoods – Just simultaneously looking to the future and being like there's so many things that I want to see us accomplish and to me, it's not about losing the desire to accomplish those things

It's losing the false belief that I'm gonna find some kind of purpose or ultimate satisfaction in those things going well Because we have had a lot of success We've had a lot of things go well and we know just like we talked about in the Book of Mythicality in the stop and celebrate chapter that our MO is to accomplish something and then immediately move on to the next thing without stopping and really appreciating it So I know that if okay, we were able to make a film and we're able to make a show that critics care about I can anticipate what that feeling is gonna be

I know that there's not true satisfaction in that but if I can just enjoy the process which is something that I do enjoy, the creative process is like that's what we're made to do, I find an incredible satisfaction not just in the results but in the process I don't know, those are just the things that are kind of running through my mind and the thing that's complicating it is this age factor Is the fact that oh, now, I've got this other thing I've got to contend with which is the fact that– – And saying running out of the hourglass – When am I gonna run out of time? When am I gonna become irrelevant because I seem too old? When my mind not gonna be as sharp? When am I not gonna have that thing? All the best athletes in the world, even the best poker players in the world are young guns, right? You don't see some 45 year old come in there and win the World Poker Tour You see a 20 year old do it

I'm know there are exceptions but that's how you feel because what do they have? Did I have it and I lost it? Those are the things rattling around them in my 40 year old mind – I'm trying to figure out how for me as a perfectionist As a personality type How I'm interacting with getting older because I want things whether it's a party or whatever it is, my life to be arranged in a certain way, you know? And I think, my uncle, I think he also might have been a one just like me A perfectionist because he had his life arranged and even his family life in his professional life and his hobby life

He had it all very arranged and he was very methodical and calculated which by the way was why it was such a shock that he had an accident It's totally against everything that you've ever observed from this guy And I think he was living that yet, poof, it was over And was it worth it? Was it worth the, you know, is that the goal for me? Is that what I'm trying to emulate or is that something I'm trying to, I don't think so I think it's something I'm trying to put in its place

The strengths, slash, weaknesses of being, of thinking I know the best way for everything Putting that in its place so that I can still live a full life even when things don't meet my standard which is probably, if it is attainable, you have to sacrifice enough things that it may not, in general, have been worth it In terms of like what that does to relationships or what it takes to get there So using the party again as analogy, it's saying I think I did pretty decent saying this was a milestone experience that I'm grateful that Christy and you encouraged us to do, to have the frickin' party and not say, well, because it can't be the absolute perfect thing then I'm not gonna do it That would have been a been a horrible mistake, right? And I think that's uh, I think that's a kind of a microcosm of what I'm trying to do with my life by putting those aspects of my personality in their place so that I can experience the imperfections of life and see beauty in that and experience that and love

– And love, throw love in there – 'Cause yeah, just throw love in there – The last thing I'll say which I think is I don't know if it's a generational thing – I think we're the same generation by the way so don't start treating me like a child – We're whatever, it's between, there's a very small generation that's between Generation X and millennials The Xennials? What it's called? I think they're Xennials – Perennials

– It's like '77 to '83 – Okay – Again, this is just stuff reporters make up so take it with a grain of salt But the thing I've been, I think is typical of most generations before ours and maybe it still is, I don't know is that you tend to get a little calcified in your views, right? You get to a certain point and you're kind of like, I'm kind of done changing the way I think about things So far in my life, the way that I view the world has gone through some very drastic upheavals and changes

I'm less certain about a whole host of things than I ever was when I was 20 years old – Yeah – When I was 20, I had just a very particular understanding of so many things and I was so sure that I was right I mean it was just like I remember sitting around and actually having the thought of like I pretty much think I know the right thing about the most important things – Yeah, I was there for that

– I was like I think I understand the basics of the most important truths of the universe That's a very fortunate position to be in, I said to myself I did not actually say this out loud but I remember like having thoughts like that And then over the past 20 years, I look back at that 20 year old and I'm like, what an idiot I mean, no, no, I was– – Let's not even keep it in the 20s because I'll say it's something that has we both, it's part of both of our experiences

It's not something that just shortly after that, we checked out of It's been quite a process between 20 and 40 – It continues to this day I mean that's a weird place to be, to feel like you are entering into your 40s Now there's a lot there is a lot of stability, there's a lot of stability in my life with even the sort of the unpredictable nature of what we do as a career

There's a lot of stability and what we've kind of built up and that stability has increased exponentially just in the past five years in a way that it did not There was a lot of uncertainty, there's still a whole lot of uncertainty but there's a reasonable certainty that we're gonna be okay We don't know exactly what our job is gonna look like five years from now but probably gonna be okay Probably not gonna be like thumbing down the road, you know what I mean? – Unless it makes for a good video or– – As a character But I've never been less certain about a lot of different things and more open to like different people's perspectives and like can hear somebody say something and be like ah, that's a good point

Yeah, that's a good point as well This is difficult to parse And I think that in some ways, that is just I think that this next generation like our kids are growing up in the midst of that We kind of grew up in a place where you were not exposed to anything that challenged your worldview And it was very tight and it was very tidy and then we were kind of this generation that got introduced through the internet to all kinds of different thoughts about different things and it began to kind of change the way we thought about that foundation – But I think that our children– – Which made our initial reaction to it something that was more about maintaining the tidiness in the face of the internet, basically – Batten down the hatches

– batten down the hatches Whereas our kids, you know, you– – There are no hatches – When you grow up in an environment, there's no way to not be exposed to almost everything on Earth just by virtue of the internet As much as you put up healthy boundaries and things like that Yeah, absolutely, it's a different world

Oh, I sound old What are you getting at? Maybe you're getting at– – I'm just saying it's another observation I made about myself – The one thing that we can have that that 20-year old poker player can't have is wisdom Now, you don't automatically have it and I'm not saying that we have it but I aspire to that and that is something that, that is the advantage that old farts can have Right? – Yeah, and I'm all and I'm also trying to fight

I'm trying to fight cynicism actively, you know? – Yup, playing Fortnite – I hear Locke talk about the latest lil rapper There's these lil rappers Everybody's got lil in front of their name And I find myself just talking to him about how ridiculous this whole thing is

And it probably is ridiculous on some degree but this is coming from a man who has regularly eating animal testicles for entertainment on the internet So I'm a lil ridiculous myself Lil Ridiculous is my rap name But yeah, again, I don't have a conclusion I don't have a landing place for this

It's just– – We'll have to end it somehow – There are multiple things happening There's the internal struggle with like trying to not be defined by my accomplishments but being fearful that I've yet to accomplish that maybe I've accomplished the greatest thing I'm ever going to accomplish Less certain than I've ever been and then wanting to fight against cynicism and just beginning to say things like sometimes, yes, you'd be like you're talking, you're literally saying this generation of kids Like just don't use that terminology

Don't get to a place where you use the term this generation of children or this generation of teenagers and then say something negative because that generation of teenagers in the way that they think differently and the things that frustrate us are gonna be the things that most likely the positive things that define the world Just the way it happens, man And it's happening quicker than ever More quickly Grammar Nazis

– So now what? – I think we just die now – Just curl up – I think we do everything we can to make it to 7974 – Buck Owens died in his sleep

Good for him He finished a concert in the Crystal Palace that he built in Bakersfield, when he went back to his house and died in his sleep But there's no guarantees I just wanted to tie in another country music It seems like country music is my religion in this episode so I just wanted to tie that, tie a bow on that but thanks for listening in on this therapy session

I feel okay I always feel like in retrospect, like looking at what we've discussed in this episode, I do feel the need as we're shutting this thing down to just say I don't think you need to worry about me It's like I used the term– – You need to worry about me – I think we've been very honest about what we're doing but I wanna be sensitive in throwing around the term depression which I know I said that a few times but experiencing depression I don't know what I wanna say about it except that what do you think I should say about it? I just don't want people to worry about me in that way specifically because I'm not actively struggling with clinical depression

– But many, many, many people are – Absolutely And hopefully we have We did what we always do We started talking about something not knowing where it's gonna go I think ultimately, what you're saying is that, I mean we're just processing these things It's like don't– – And I don't think there's anything wrong, I'm not gonna apologize for being sad, obviously We're not trying to be an example but in retrospect, if we were an example with anything, I hope is that we're talking openly and honestly with each other, you just happen to be listening at a certain point

I think that's what happened in this episode – Well, there is a podcast that Jessie's begun listening to that is a therapist and her patients and they let you listen in on the sessions – Really? – I don't know Obviously, all the confidentiality stuff is taken care of – Well, this is as close as we're gonna get to that

So thanks for listening in And we'll talk out you next week – Yes To hear this Ear Biscuit in its entirety and make sure you don't miss an episode, follow the links in the description to subscribe on Apple podcasts or anywhere else podcasts are available – [Link] To watch more Ear Biscuits, click on the playlist on the right

– [Rhett] To watch more of our daily show, Good Mythical Morning, click the playlist on the left – [Link] And don't forget to click the circular icon to subscribe – [Rhett] Thanks for being your mythical best

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