How Rhett Deals With Stress | Ear Biscuits

– We're gonna be talking to each other today, but we're gonna be also talking to you and with you, because many of you submitted your, we didn't just go for questions, we actually went for your perspectives and opinions on the subject of stress, which is something that we are currently experiencing – A heightened level, yeah

– And instead of going and seeking a professional's help, we are just turning to you on the internet, because that seems, I don't know, it seems cheaper (upbeat electronic music) Chandra Hollence, I think you'll be able to relate to this, I know I can When I'm extremely stressed, I write a detailed list of all the things that are stressing me out, no matter how minor, in blue pen Then I take a sharpie and write on top, all the reasons why those things don't need to stress me out Then I make another manageable-looking list of the things that I actually need to take care of, so that I have a handle on things

Lighting the original list on fire offers additional stress relief – This sounds like something that a therapist would tell you to do, and I will take this opportunity to say, that's great – That is great Moving along – Going to a therapist, or a psychiatrist, is absolutely splendid

It's not anything to be embarrassed about I mean, Christie and I went to a therapist just to talk out relational things Almost, I wouldn't say it's, not because we have issues, but just from a preemptive standpoint I mean, we have the normal conflicts that couples have, and we've been married 17 years There's no threat of anything undermining our relationship

– It's an external person to talk through things – It's a health thing, but what I learned is that, the amount of stress that comes off whenever you're able to say something, and then there's a third person there to help you articulate things It's a beautiful thing, and I can only imagine that that also applies when you're, you know, you're talking to a doctor, or a therapist, or whatever, individually, to relieve stress, or deal with whatever you're going through It's magic – Yeah, well, and everybody in this town goes to a therapist

– Wait, it's not, well it's not technically magic I should probably say, I don't think there's actual magic involved – I bet you, you can go to a magic therapist too, that's called a– – A magician – No, no, no – A psychic

– A psychic, yeah – I know I'm advocating therapy, not psychics, psychiatric professionals – So I completely agree with that – But back to this, the list

– Okay So this is something, not this exact thing that Chandra's been doing, but, shout-out to Josh Sundquist, because I was watching one of his videos A friend of ours, who actually was here on Ear Biscuits, he signed this table somewhere, at some point YouTuber, motivational speaker, author, and he talks about the different things that he does every single day, that help him manage stress There was four things; I know one of them was meditation, one of them was journaling, and one of them was exercise, and then there was a fourth thing, and it's an acronym, but sorry, Josh, I've forgotten it at this point

It was really good though, and I wrote it down in my journal; did I say journal? Journal is one of them – Maybe it's journal twice Maybe he journals two times a day Well, we can figure it out; J for journal, M for meditation, E for exercise – Oh, JERM

Reading, JERM: J, journal; E, exercise; R, read; and M, meditate He wants to do all four of those things every single day So we got it – You know what? That's why he's a friggin' motivational speaker, 'cause you remembered that – Yeah, well you had to help me

But, so I'm not– – He misspelled germ, by the way – Yeah, don't bring that up I'm not great at doing, now all four of those things are things that I really like to do, and try to incorporate into my life If I have a good week, I've done all four of those things It's difficult for me, at this point, to do all four in a day, every single day, but specifically, journaling

So, a lot of people are talking about this bullet journaling craze that's happening – I haven't heard about this – So, I'm, and I'm speaking out of school a little bit, but my, really, rudimentary understanding of it is that, you're basically creating a journal where you're recording your thoughts and observations, things you want to remember There's a format to it, and at the beginning of the journal, you're basically creating like a system of a table of contents, that helps you locate where the information is People use lots of different systems so that they then can go and access their thoughts

Now, I thought, once the internet happened, and once Google Docs, and Evernote happened, I was like, well clearly, this is a superior way than the archaic writing with a hand I mean, it's like, my hand gets cramped, and I've got bad handwriting And if you do it digitally, you can access it, you can search it, so all those are advantages But, mounds and mounds of research have suggested that retention of information is way more effective when you write things down, than when you type things out And, I've been doing this for the past couple of years

But, there's something about tactile interaction with something, literally, there's something that happens in your brain, when you are– – You make the letter– – You are making, making the letters– – As opposed to pushing just another button – And you're, you're creating a physical expression of that idea, that then is stored in a part of your brain where, then, you can associate it And I wrote down JERM, in my journal, when I watched his video – That's ironic – And so I've got this system now, that, I have a journal that I keep with me, at work, and I have one that's at home

And usually, the one at home is like, I'll be reading a book, I'm reading a book by somebody I hope we can have on the podcast, someday, Ryan Holiday, "Ego is the Enemy", great book And, it's just chock full of this information that, for years I would read a book, and then I would be like, that's really awesome And then, you kind of retain like a kernel of that truth, and you can kind of remember it, and keep it Now when I read, I take notes, not in the book, but in my journal, and that is, there's something about taking the information that I'm receiving, especially when it's like, I like to read a lot of, I don't read a lot of fiction I like to read a lot of non-fiction, especially non-fiction that you can immediately kind of apply to your life, like the "Ego is the Enemy" thing, and I'll take notes on it, and then I find myself actually remembering what each chapter, like the main points about each chapter

So, I recommend journaling, or bullet journaling if you're gonna do the official way I don't even know what the official way is, but people do Science people do Another thing that I do in the journal is, if I am stressed out about something, or if there's a worry, if there's something that's particularly getting to me, the act of writing it out is a way of like feeling like I'm defining it, and I'm setting it aside, and I'm making it external It's almost like I'm taking– – Do you have an example? Like, what do you, you write out what your stressed about? Or you write a to-do list? – I do some to-do lists, but– – Like, have you written anything about buddy systems? – Yeah, yeah, yeah

– What would you write down? – I would write like, I feel like what we are doing is impossible I feel like what we have signed up to do, in the amount of time, is impossible And so, I write that down, and it's just like, I can kind of like– – I think that was a text to me and Stevie – Yeah, I probably did that as well I feel like I'm removing it from my brain and putting it in this journal, and somehow, it's just like, oh yeah, it is impossible

– Then you burn it? – No, I don't burn anything But, that's what Chandra does I also write things like, but, it's probably the case that feeling like something is impossible means you're doing exactly what you should be doing, because if you're not doing something that makes you feel like you're doing something impossible, if you're not doing something that you think that you can't, you're probably doing something that isn't worth doing, at all – You turn stress into something, an insight – Yeah, and so, you, it's like Casey Neistat says, do what you can't, right? And, there's just something incredibly therapeutic, and this is not systematic at all

I'm not prescribing anything in particular I'm just saying that, just making the, beginning the act of journaling has done this, first of all, the retention of things that I want to know, and apply to my life, has gone way up But also, just this time of actually thinking about what is it stressing me out 'Cause there's a lot of science that suggests that you store stress and tension in different places You know that your muscles get crazy, and there's actually a whole school of thought that you store certain kinds of emotions in certain places

I don't know anything about that, and I don't know if it's true or not But the idea that I've got all this tension, from my stress, that I've put in my back, and then my back is predisposed to injury, because I'm tight The idea of, instead of just thinking that I'm okay, and letting that tension be stored in my back, if I take it and I write it out, I feel like there's an act of releasing it, and defining it, and saying, it's out there I know that I'm actually stressed out; I've admitted it But I also can kind of see whether or not, if it's even something I should be worrying about, because I've processed it

– I mean, you would agree that you don't think about putting on the page, you're literally, not placing it in your back That sounds like magic, but you're saying indirectly– – I don't know – By putting it on the page, you're reducing stress that then doesn't build up in your back – Yeah, it's not, I mean– – But it's not a magical– – Well, I think, even magic is ultimately scientific, right? I think there are lots of things that we don't understand about the world, that I think, one way– – So that is what you're saying – The history of the past few thousand years, especially the last 500, is that everything that we thought was magic turned out to be something that we could define and understand, if we just kept at it long enough

– I know, but I just gave that explanation – Yeah, but I'm saying, but it wouldn't be magic If that is true, if they find out that there's something legitimately, physically happening, when you do, that somebody will explain that at some point All I know is that it seems to work for me – Well, something psychological is happening, and then it has a physical benefit

– But there could be some energy involved We don't understand it all, man But I'm not gonna say one way or another, whether that's true I'm just saying, basically I'm just saying, thank you, Josh Sundquist, for telling me to JERM it every day – It's interesting, when I've, the reason why I don't journal is because I feel like a journal becomes a record of how often I don't journal

And I can't get over it – Hmm, the gaps You're worrying about the gaps – Yeah, like, for me, it's like, well I gotta put a date, and then I gotta like– – Oh, I put dates, and I've got lots of gaps, man But you just gotta keep going back

– But it seems like a defeat When I go back, I'm gonna see that date, and that's three months ago That was a year ago – You're thinking of it like a blogger, from like 2007 – Yeah

It's so broken; I wish there was another way I could do it I can't get over that, like, the fact that it's like, if I don't do it every day, I'm a failure That's stupid – Yeah, because– – Who cares? – If you do it at all– – Who am I trying to impress? – I'm sensing a pattern here Again, I think that this is a little bit of a therapy session, for both of us

– I'll take it – But I think that, when you say, I listen to music, and the reason I'm doing it is so I can analyze it It's like, well that's cool – It's a distraction – And it's a hobby of yours

– It's a distraction – And I'm not saying that's bad, but if you can't listen to music to relax, then you're missing, you're missing a side of music Journaling, if you're just thinking about the task of journaling, and the routine of journaling, and you're like, I'm doing this because I have to do it, then you're– – 'Cause I've committed to it – Then you're missing the point of it The point being that this is actually, it's therapeutic

– Like, I literally– – You're not thinking about yourself – No, when I've journaled in the past, I've thought about: who's gonna read it later? Like, maybe when I die, my kids are gonna read this – Well I definitely think that, that's why I say really poetic things like, maybe when you think you're about to do something impossible, you know you're doing the right thing And then I put a box around it, and a star, so the historians will find it – The historians? (laughing) – I'm joking

– You're joking, but are you joking? – No, I think my, I mean, my kids are gonna read it at some point I mean, I'm sure people are gonna read it – Okay, well that makes me feel better, but that– – I'm not gonna, just bury me with my journals, man I don't want anybody to see the mess that I wrote – But that isn't, that impedes the point

– No, I'm very honest in them If there's something that I would be, is not something that I wouldn't want read publicly, 'cause, you know, people could find a journal at some point, I write about it in code, you know? In a way that'd be like, okay – The chief thing on your mind is not an audience, is not the reader, it's– – No, it's for me – Yeah – It's something I need

Something I need – That's what I have trouble getting to – [Narrator] To hear this Ear Biscuit in its entirety, so you don't miss a thing, follow the links in the description to Art19, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere else podcasts are available – [Narrator] To watch more Ear Biscuits, click the video on the left – [Narrator] To watch more from This is Mythical, click the video on the right

– [Narrator] And, don't forget to subscribe, by clicking the circular icon – [Narrator] Thanks for being your mythical best

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