|How old am I:||I'm 31 years old|
One-fifth of graduating Harvard seniors have never been in a relationship during college.
The median of relationships that Harvard seniors reported? Just one.
Dating is hard enough. Throwing Harvard into the equation just makes everything worse. Gender roles have come a long way, but anachronistic perceptions about inequality of the sexes still exist, especially when it comes to sexual attraction within coed circles of superaccomplished to year-olds.
When the demographics are reversed, however, women will rate the guy wearing a Harvard-emblazoned shirt as more attractive than the one without. According to another study, men prefer smart women in theory, but not in real life.
A team of researchers asked male undergraduate students to take an intelligence test before meeting up with female participants who either performed better or worse than they did on the test. When meeting up with them in person, the men sat farther away from the women who performed better than they did on the hypothetical exam and also rated them as less attractive, even if they initially said that they dating female intelligence to be an attractive quality in dating partners.
Men might prefer less accomplished women for the same reason that many women prefer taller men. Deeply ingrained gender perceptions can be harmful all around. Anecdotally, Harvard women are also less impressed by Harvard men.
The relationship and dating handbook
When women are educated and accomplished, they tend to hold higher standards for their dating partners. But, perhaps both sides are being too critical.
The dateable guys might be right in front of us, hiding in plain sight. And those smart girls wearing Harvard T-shirts might not be that bad after all.
Instead, harvard proliferation of hookup culture on college campuses is displacing a would-be culture of dating. Swiping right on a lighted screen is ificantly easier than putting in the work for a relationship, and the value of sex—facilitated by harvard use of apps such as Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, and Hinge—has been lowered considerably.
Consider this from a historical perspective. Even so, how many students are really hooking up?
And although there are no official statistics on how often the rest are hooking up, long nights spent doing problem sets in libraries seem to be far more common than long nights spent doing each other.
Between studying for classes; applying for internships; running to and from clubs; attending social events; and fitting in calories, exercise, and some semblance of sleep, meaningful relationships have become deprioritized in favor of other things.
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A banging CV is great, but it often comes at the expense of a love life. After this, they spent all of college surrounded by chicks who had spent their own high school years studying, instead of developing personalities. In order for sparks to fly, there has to be a connection first.
Dating only improves with practice, and practice only comes when you put yourself out there. But, for the more mathematically inclined out there, we find ourselves with a handy equation: Lots of judgment plus subpar hookup culture plus shortage of free time plus fear of rejection plus inexperience plus overinflated egos equals nonexistent dating scene.
I recognize the inherent irony in telling possibly the most Type-A people in the entire world to lighten up a bit. Most students got into Harvard by taking themselves very, very seriously.
But at the same time, an inflated sense of self is exactly what prevents us from opening our lives up to another person. Harvard my opinion, the dating approach here is to stay open-minded and optimistic.
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